A Million Last Words | A Calum Hood & Luke Hemmings Fanfic

Chapter 15

~Lukes pov~ 

Calums entire body was shaking under my arms. He use to get these attacks a lot in high school but we didn't talk about it to anyone else. Next to his family I was the only one who knew why he got them. Cals other friends just knew he went through a 'dark phase' after he dropped out. I don't think even Ashton knew about them. The 3 of us were sitting on the bathroom floor for a long time before Ashton thought i'd be best if we called my mum to help with his hand, she was just gonna make him worse no matter what. From what it sounded like, Calum was still crying but I could tell he was trying his best to stop. I don't blame him, its not his fault. 

I was on my knees next to him with one of my arms across his chest and one around his back, holding my own hands next to his shoulder, farthest from me. It wasn't the most comfortable way to be sitting for me but it made him feel safer and that's all that mattered to me. When Ashton left the room I put my head back down on his,softly humming anything that would calming for him. He hadn't said anything to me but I didn't mind, I just loved being with him like this no matter the condition. I had shut out any other noise, the only thing I could hear was his breathing so it took me a long while to realize mum and Ashton were standing in the door way. I opened my eyes and lifted up my head, Ashton was bent over closer to me at the waist and had been trying to get my attention for a while, mum just stood impatiently in the door way. 

"Okay you two, time to come back to reality" Mum walks over to us and moves Ashton slightly out of the way to be able to see Calums hand better. I watch Calum while shes inspecting his hand, he didn't look so sad anymore. He looked like a kitten that had just been woken up.

"Ashton, Luke why don't you take a quick drive to go get Michael and i'll clean up Calum a bit" Mum pulls me up all at once by my arms and leaves Calum sitting on the ground, I stumble on my own weight trying my best not to crush Calum. I look down at him once I'm standing, he has his eyes stained on his feet and a blank expression, he still hasn't said anything but its probably for the best. Nothing he said would be taken seriously at the moment. 

"No, I don't want to leave him" I keep my eyes on him while I'm talking, to watch his expression, if it changes or turned any different at all. 

"Honey its alright I'm here and I remember when he use to 'freak out' like this years ago. Im sure I can manage okay by myself" Mum starts to push Ashton and I to the door before either of us could respond or correct her on her freak out comment. He wasn't "freaking out" It wasn't his fault this was happening at all. 

Once we were at the bus door Ashton looks over and smiles at me, he keeps walking off the bus without saying a word. Everyone must be speechless tonight. I follow him off the bus, I felt horrible for leaving him when hes like this, but if I just go along with what mum says for a while, she's back down sooner or later. 

Once we reached the car we had Ashton slid into the front seat and started the engine before I was in the passenger seat. We drove for a few minutes in silence before Ashton looked over at me quickly and looked back at the road. 

"Luke, will you tell me what happened to Calum.. I've never actually heard, whenever something comes up about his 'dark faze' he either leaves or you or Michael change the subject. Will you tell me straight up what happend." Ashton tightens his gip on his steering wheel as he talks, Ash was always really good at handling delicate situation. He knew how to word things nicer. I take a deep breath and look down before answering. 

"Its Calums story to tell, not mine. I should'nt have to tell you" I don't look up from the ground, even though I didn't go through what he did i hated talking about it. 

"You know he wont tell me. We've been friends for 3 years and spend all our time together i think i deserve to know" Ash was starting to get impatient on the topic, I actually don't see what was wrong with telling him. He had a point. We're all always together he was gonna find out eventually, why not now?