A Million Last Words | A Calum Hood & Luke Hemmings Fanfic

Chapter 10

~Calums Pov~

The intire way to the hospital I couldn't sit still. tapping my hand on the window sill, crossing and uncrossing my ankles, tapping my foot, really anything to keep myself from getting to worried. I shouldn't be worried in the first place, I shouldn't even be going to see him.

"why is he even there, he was stable! he didn't loose his memory or go into a comma or anything" I turn around, talking really fast to Michael.

"he needed his lip stitched and uh someone reported that he was being like.. abused because of the-the bruises. his parents are flying in, they're gonna be here.. tomorrow" Michael Stuttered out, Rubbing the back of his neck constantly. I look over at ashton, he just tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

"Do his parents know anything... about us" Im using a deeper voice then usual.Trying to atlest stay the slightest bit calm.

"No not yet, we thought that.. that should be up to you guys to talk about" Michael seemed really uncomfortable on the topic, I know he doesn't like it, but he can at least try a little harder to hide it. I didn't respond, looking straight again. it was a fight, not abuse, and he hit back! I shouldn't feel this guilty. none of this is my fault.

"its just around the corner" That's the only thing ashton has said the intire time. Ash is always so playful and never really holds a grudge, the last few days he hasn't been himself..

We pulled into the hospital parking lot, Michael and ashton get out of the car as soon as it turns off. Slowly opening the door, I move out of my seat. trying to be graceful and look calm or normal or whatever. We made our way to the glass sliding doors at the front of the building, i didnt know what to expect at all. did something more happen after i left? he wasnt that beat up.. just a few hits and cuts, not hospital worthy.

ashton and michael apparently knew exactly where he was, walking confidently into the elevators. they didnt really tell me anything. about how he got here, who found him, if anyone else hurt him, nothing! i cant believe im just letting him completely in again. what if he really needs me right now, i cant stay mad at him but i need to this time! this isn't just wearing my bennie or loosing my picks, its basically looking me in the eyes and saying "FUCK YOU" without missing a beat.

once we reach his room, ashton looks at michael and michael looks at me.

"youre gonna go in there, and talk to him. without us." Michael says in a harsh voice. "but remember, youre in a hospital. if you get in a fight, we wont stop you, security will" before i can respond they turn around and walk to the waiting room down the hall.

what the fuck did they think they where doing. he was gonna do the talking and if i feel like listening i will. he doesn't get my pitty just because hes in a hospital.. i take a deep breath and slowly pull open his door. shyly peeking around the door. he was sitting on the side of the bed, still in his normal clothes. he had an IV on his arm, and several bandages around his arms and gauze tapped to his face and lip., i didnt know he was this bad.. he looks up at me and gives me a half smile. i clench my left elbow with my right hand, looking at the ground.

"didn't expect this.. huh.." lukes eyes are fixed on my cheeks, i guess avoiding eye contact. i just shrug and keep my eyes on the floor.

"so.. where are ash and michael..?" luke sounds weak, even though i know he isnt. hes fine.. i shrug again, shifting my feet from one to another.

"calum, please talk to me. im really sorry. it didnt mean anything! i figured everyone hated me, i thought it was a way to make myself feel better. it didnt, i didnt even enjoy it! i didnt think you where ever gonna feel the same way i feel about you, so i tried to move on. i cant read your mind cal!" luke stands up, his shirt gets caught on a bandage, reveling the white dressings covering his whole torso. i look up at him, studying all the dressings all over his body.

"how did- why are you even here." I look around the room, speaking quiet. it was only 6:30 but i was tired as hell. he smiles, his eyes lighting up a little.

"i dont know, really. michael and ashton where with me for a while in a hotel room, i feel asleep and when i woke up i was in the car with them, and uh.. ended up here.. last night." he was messing with the dressing on his forearm, sliding parts of it up and down again, twisting it up. i walk over to him without hesitating, moving his hand away from the wrap.i untangling it, and move it back into place. he smiled, laughing quietly.

"dont mess them up.." i tell him, smoothing the bandages out again.

"youre not mad..?" luke touches my hand gently, i swat him away, backing up.

"yeah i am mad actually" i step back over to where the door is. "you cant take it back no matter what you say" i look back at him. he sits down and pulls on the bandage on his lip, trying to tear it off. i wanted to ask if he was okay, make sure he wasn't in pain. i hate that i care i hate that i love him i hate him.

"fuck, calum! just give me one chance! i dont get why youre being this way! it wasnt the way it looked i didnt want to, you should know that!" hestands up again, trying to move closer to me, but the IV cord stops him. i take a last look at him, and walk out the door down to where michael and ashton where sitting.

"do we have to take it with us.." i look up at ashton, biting the inside of my cheek.

"yeah, its the right thing cal" ash says standing up, michael following. michael walks into his room as ashton goes over to the nurse station to sign him out. i stand in place, running over what happened in my mind. dating a fan would be easier than this. i look over to the door, michael walks out, luke holding onto his wrist. a nurse walks out after them trying to catch up.

before they can get an elevator, i run down the stairs, dreading the drive back to the bus. luke seems fine i dont get how this is such a big deal.. its probably his parents anyways. im not blaming them, im probably as worried as them. fuck i really hate that.. they're gonna be here tomorrow and i dont even know what to tell them. im guessing Michael already talked to them so they must know something. if we tell his parents about us they'll tell my parents and they'll tell the intire town..no one needed to know. theyre all gonna find out, but not now, not when i dont even want to admit it to myself.

i get to the lobby and continue to walk to the car, the guys where already there. i open the door, heisting before getting in. michael was in the passenger seat, leaving the only seat next to Luke open.

the car is silent the intire way home. no sound except coughing every once And a while. i keep catching luke looking at me from the corner of my eye. i just want to hug him, and hear him tell me everything is gonna be fine. i just want to hold him like before. but i cant, he cant think it was okay, that these things dont bother me. i rest my hand on the middle seat, moving my weight onto my arm. a few minutes pass, before i feel lukes warm touch. his finger tips pressing on the back of my hand. he curls his thumb around, gently touching my palm. i wrap my fingers around his thumb, squeezing his hand, he lightly ran his finger over the back of my hand, his hand was shaking but it didnt matter. he was mine and thats all i care about. it made me feel safer, as if nothing had happend. i look over at him, he was looking out the window with a warm smile on his face. everything about him made everything else seem unreal.

~song for this chapter is really inportant~