I wipe my eyes and sniff a lot as I glance at the faces around me, all desperately searching for answers, all desperate for something to cling onto.
My dad squeezes me one more time and sets me back down on the ground.
I awkwardly play with my fingers for a little, not sure why I'm so nervous to answer this question.
"Yeah I... I did... Yeah..." I murmur, not sure how I expect them to react.
Silence answers me, so I look up at the twins and then at Ben.
They're deep in thought.
"Ok," Megan whispers. "Um... Thank you... Somehow I feel that... Whether or not there's a heaven... There's value in your faith so... Um... Thank you."
She picks up Liam and then takes Michelle's hand. Michelle grabs onto Bridget and they all slowly make their way inside and Ben follows them soon after.
Natalie and Josie stand silently. Natalie's face is lined with tear streaks and Josie's face is wrinkled with concern...
Somehow, I don't think her whole mind is focused on me. Somethings off about her mom.
I don't want to care about that right now... I feel bad for feeling that way but I can't... I can't take any other burdens on right now.
I give Natalie a hug because I assumed she would head back home. She hugs back but then promptly heads into the house, cursing the world for stealing such a precious gift from her best friend.
Josie and I watch her, and stand there for a few moments more before grabbing each other's hands and finally staggering into the house after the rest of the crew.
As we enter, I see Ben and his fiancé embracing as my dad stands solemnly by.
I look up towards the twins' room and prayer that Michelle doesn't take this out as anger on Megan.
But after a few moments, I wonder if I would rather hear yelling right now...
It's too quiet. The only sounds are the sobs coming from all corners of the house...
Josie glances up the stairs worriedly.
"Are... Are you ok?" I sniff.
Josie looks at me and her worry lines soften.
"Gen..." she whispers.
She pulls me into a hug and we stay in each other's arms for a while.
"Would you quit worrying about me long enough to take care of yourself?" she chuckles sadly.
She pushes away from me and squeezes my hand. Then the worry returns to her face. She shoots me one more empathetic smile before whispering, "I'll see what's wrong with my mom. You are not allowed to worry about it."
And she runs up the stairs before I can realize the distinctive sound of my aunt's cries among all the sounds of sadness in this place.
I want to go find Bridget, Liam, the twins, someone. I want so badly to ease their pain. Heck, right now I want nothing more than to give Lacy her life back even if that meant I had to lose mine.
But she had given up hers for the the sake of kids given no chance.
When a dying person who'd lived 80 years would do anything for just one more day, maybe even go so far as to take advantage of someone so they could have it, this girl who hadn't seen her eighth birthday, was willing to give up the three months she could've had so that other kids could live.
