Insufferable

Chapter 21

This accusation suddenly made me feel slightly better. If he was gay then it wasn't me who was the problem, he was.

He just didn't like girls.

Yeah. That's totally it.

His completely and utterly gay.

So gay that he didn't even like boys.

Only that couldn't be it. Defiently not gay!

He was not gay!!

He was just a complete and utter idiot.

I suddenly felt really angry. My nails gripped the couch I was sitting on, my fingernails piercing the leather materiel making a soft tearing sound.

All I wanted to do was rip his head off now instead of the girls.

I needed to breathe, I stood up and made the mistake of looking in his direction. Our eyes met and I saw the confusion in his eyes. A small smile appeared on his lips.

What was so funny?

This didn't calm me down at all because now I felt as if he was laughing at me. Little me! Was I that pathetic? Was his stupid games amusing?

The anger in my eyes made him watch me cautiously, as he was about to stand up I quickly hurried out of the VIP area.

I allowed myself to get lost in the crowd. Normally I hated crowds, I hated making skin contact with anybody but now I welcomed it. It somehow gave me a sense of belonging. Being able to touch another person made me feel real, like this was reality, I was really real.

I made my way to the dodgy corner where I first met Chester, the Vampire.

Thinking about him suddenly sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. When I was close to him all I wanted him to do was bite me. It was somehow strange. I shook my head at our last encounter, I begged him to bite me, to cause me pain. What was wrong with me then?

Right now I felt stuck. Its a common thing for me, but I wanted to move past this. I accepted that Alpha Carter doesn't want me. I have to let it go. Because even though I love him!

Yes! Love!

I was naïve, I loved him because he was my mate, the one person I was destined to be with.

However, I was not inlove with him. The ancestors could not expect such a thing, they could not be so cruel.

I sighed as I looked at the boring brick wall in front of me.

Do I run away?

And then what? Live like a rogue.

Just thinking about rogues made my blood boil. I hated those vile creatures. They were not of our kind, they were dark, rebelious, greedy and malicious creatures. They were the complete opposite of what werewolves stand for which is peace, togetherness, love and trust.

Trust in an Alpha.

Trust in a pack.

I let myself get lost in the nothingness. Something I was familiar with. I rejected Alpha Carter, why did it suddenly feel like I needed him more now, like the bond between us was more intense, growing stronger everyday.

Something was wrong but I didn't know what. I just continued to stand alone, breathing in the cool crisp air.