For Your Eyes Only: HS

20. Everybody Wants You

In that moment, it actually felt like my lips weren't connected to my brain.

Harry's demeanor has changed twice in the past minute. It went from being maybe slightly turned on (if I do say so myself), to concerned, and now to extremely blank.

Oh no. Why did I have to say that. He's going to hate me now. 

Despite his obvious discomfort, he opens his mouth to speak. "Jesus. Ok."

Fuck. I've really out done myself this time. Well done. Well bloody done, Miller.

"I'm really sorry, I don't even know where that came from. You don't have to answer, Harry, it's none of my business at all, I just--" He places his hand back on my arm, but it feels different this time. Reassuring, yes, but definitely not as intimately as before. I really hope I haven't gone and stuffed it up with my big fat mouth.

"It's ok, Miller." He even cracks a small smile, though I can tell it's slightly forced. "Jana and I... we haven't spoken properly since that... night. We've texted back and forth a bit, but obviously, you know, I can't trust her again. So it's over. Honestly, it was over since she... kissed- that guy. Whoever he was," he mutters. I can hear the pain in his voice, and that tells me that she was obviously quite important to him.

It surprises me when he continues speaking. "Jana and I were together a couple months, like 8, or so. It doesn't seem that long, now that I think about it. But I really liked her. And I thought she really liked me."

"Did... did you, um, love her?" My voice is full of caution. I don't want to tread to harshly. Not when he's opening up to me like this.

"No, no. And, I dunno, maybe I could've. It's just..." he stops for a couple of seconds, finally looking at me in the eye, with that forceful gaze that constantly gives me goosebumps. I rub my arms to try and calm down. Harry's face then changes into frustration. "I'm sick of not being able to trust anyone. This industry... I mean... don't get me wrong, I'm so, so thankful for where I am. I wouldn't be where I am today without the support I've gotten, but it's just hard when you think you can trust someone, and then it turns out that they weren't who you thought they were. Maybe Jana wasn't with me because of my 'fame'," he says this sarcastically, cringing at the overused word, "but, oh, I don't know. I'm rambling." He gives me another minor smile.

"You can ramble anytime. I like your rambling," I smile back, not speaking for a few moments, and that's when I realise that the rain has stopped.

"Just so you know, I know we've only known each other for a tiny, tiny, while, and this might not mean anything to you, because I know that you find it hard to trust anyone, but... you can trust me. I just want you to know that. I'm just putting it out there." I raise my hand in a joking surrender, and he laughs. 

"Don't take it the wrong way, but it'll probably take me a bit over a week to be able to trust someone fully. Even if it is someone as kind as you," he says playfully, and I giggle. 

"But a week is such a long time!" I jokingly whine, and we're both in laughter for a few more seconds. 

"I should probably put my clothes back on," he says, looking down at himself with a grin. "The rain has stopped. I still can't bloody believe we got these tattoos the other night."

"Me neither!" I'm smiling so much, the muscles in my face hurt.

"You sure you don't want to show me yours...?" Harry winks in an extremely flirty way, and there it goes again. My heart is beating a million miles a second. That's record breaking.

And maybe it's the champagne. Although I highly doubt that because I'm pretty sure I've sobered up from the kiss.

Or maybe I'm drunk on Harry's lips.