Speak Up

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After some time, I slowly regained consciousness. As I opened my eyes, I stared at a dark ceiling. For a second, I felt at peace, nothing hurt, my heart was beating normally and all my worries were gone. All bad memories were erased from my mind. My mind repressed them, sending me back to the days before we even left the container. My head was resting on something rather soft, like a pillow, while my body laid on something firm, like a casual mattress. Sheets covered my entire body, only my head was poking out. Everything was warm, fleecy and even quite comfortable. Assuming I was in at a nice and friendly place, perhaps the bed I shared with Renji, I shifted around so I'd lay on my side. But as I did that, the pain returned. My head started throbbing and my entire torso was aching, both was a lot worse than before. It made my memories return in an instant. The beating of my heart increased followed by faster breathing and more pain. I immediately sat, trying to orientate myself. With widen eyes, I investigated my surroundings, desperately trying to find out where I was. Everything around me was dark, only a simple lightbulb lit up the room. There was no doubt that this was a cell, probably located in a cellar.


"Hey, calm down"


Turning my head around, I noticed that Renji was sitting behind me, leaning against a wall for support. His expression was dull. Not stoic at all, but tired. He was exhausted. Maybe it was even hinting a bit of sadness, disappointment.


"You're here" I whispered as I attempted to hug him tightly.


I was just glad to see him, to know we were not separated. That he was the one triggering my panic attack and that he potentially hated me was not yet on my mind. Those were little details that I didn't worry about right now.


"Please don't hug me" he spoke calmly.


"Did they hurt you?" I wondered, not quite grasping what he meant.


"I'm okay" he replied as he tried to brush off my hands that were resting on his shoulders.


"Then what is it?"


"I'd prefer if you'd back off a little."


Confused by his demand, I removed my hands as I furrowed my brows.


"How are you doing?" he asked instead, crossing his arms across his chest.


While I was watching him intently, he didn't even bother making eye contact. It was clear that he was not exactly okay.


"M-my head hurts.. And so does almost my entire body" I informed him as I folded my hands.


"I'm not surprised. We're both on rc suppressants. We won't heal. They had to perform an emergency surgery on you. Your condition was critical. Before you were taken here, they scanned your brain. It's showing abnormalities."


Surprised by his information, I frowned. I recalled how they had to perform surgery on me and it all made sense considering we didn't heal on our own. That the pain felt twice as bad as before only made sense, too, since my healing abilities were gone entirely.

Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]Where stories live. Discover now