Skin & bones || Otto Wood

Chapter 14

"Oh yeah, I was going to eat it. I was just checking something."

He smiled and went back to eating. I picked up my spoon and took my first bite. The soup was really good. Everyone was quiet and just enjoying their food.

Everyone finished their food and we started heading out.

"Wait, I have to use the bathroom." I said while walking to the bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom and went to the closest stall. I got on my knees and shoved my fingers down my throat. The bathroom was just filled with the noise of me puking my guts into the toilet. I finished up and flushed the toilet. I washed my hands and popped in a couple of mints. I walked out and joined everyone outside. We walked around until we got to the park. We walked around and went to all the little gift shops. The park was just so beautiful and pretty. All the wildlife and plants were breath taking. We found a hiking trail a started walking on that. Everyone was talking, but I was quiet, absorbing all of the natural energy around me. I never knew how beautiful the world could be. I soon felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

"This place is really beautiful isn't it?" He said into my ear.

I just nodded and gazed at the nature around me. He held my hand and we continued to walk down the trail.

"So, how are you enjoying tour and everything?" Otto asked.

"It's amazing. You must have so much fun doing this all the time."

"Yeah it's pretty fun. Hey can I ask you something?"

His tone changed. He sounded really worried when he asked that.

"Yeah sure what's up."

"Are you starving yourself again? You've been losing a lot of weight lately, and you've barely been eating. You know you can talk to me Jessica. I'm always here for you."

"No I'm not starving myself. I'm fine, trust me Otto." I denied.

"Jess, don't lie to me. You've been very off these past few months. You always go to the bathroom after you eat and you're losing a lot of weight. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You don't want to end up back in the hospital."

"I'm not lying Otto. Why would you assume I'm lying. I'm your girlfriend, what happened to trust?. And yes I'm losing weight , but what's wrong with that. I can't lose weight? Why do you always worry about me, I'm fine." I retaliated.

"I worry about you because I love you. And we aren't going to talk about this out here. We are going to deal with this on the bus." Otto said grabbing my hand.

We both walked and got to the bus in complete silence.

"Why are you doing this Jessica? Why are you starving yourself? You're too beautiful to be doing this to yourself."

"For the last time I'm not starving myself Otto. If I was, I would be way skinnier than this. I mean look at me. I'm huge. I've gained so much weight during recovery. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. You wouldn't understand though. No one would understand me."

"You're not fat jess, you are perfect. The point of recovery was to make you healthy again, not to make you fat. You need to stop doing this to yourself. Why would you keep this from me? I could've helped you."

"Well maybe I don't want help. Maybe I want this to go through. I want to be as skinny as possible Otto. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing all of this fat suffocating me. You are the reason why I turned out like this. You are the reason for me gaining all of this weight. If it wasn't for us even meeting, I could have been skinnier. I could have been beautiful. But no, I had to fall in love with some random guy and let him get in my life and try and fix me." I yelled.

Otto gazed at me with shock. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I can't believe that I just said that to him.

"I... I didn't know you felt that way.  Please tell me you aren't serious jess."

I just stared at him with an expressionless face.

"Yo why did you guys leave.. what's going on in here?" Awsten asked. Everyone else following him onto the bus.

"Nothing, nothing is happening." I said as I stormed off of the bus.

"Jessica get back here." Otto yelled after me.

I was just going to take a walk and cool off. I just needed to get away from everyone.

"Jessi please listen to me. We need to talk all of this out. I can help you get through this."

I just ignored him and kept walking. I soon felt a hand grab my wrist.

"What is wrong with you jess? Why are you ignoring me? Why are you denying the fact that you need help? Just talk to me babe. I want to make sure everything is okay"

I turned around and looked at him. His face just showed sorrow and pain. I couldn't see him like this. I hate seeing him hurt. We only been dating for 4 months, and I already managed to hurt him. There's no way I can go on with this. He deserves someone who isn't as fucked up in the head like me.

"I'm sorry Otto, but this just isn't going to work. I'm obviously not well. You deserve someone prettier and just better looking than me. You deserve someone who isn't as insane as I am. You deserve better."

"No. I don't need anyone else but you. You are the one I want jess. I can help fix you if you just let me. I helped you before, I can still help you now."

Tears started rolling down my face. I couldn't take this anymore. I turned the opposite direction and continued to walk down the street. The world soon started to spin with every step I took. The sky started to get darker and darker. It felt like all the energy from my body was just being sucked out out of me. My eyes soon got heavy and next thing you know, I was on the ground.