Skin & bones || Otto Wood

Chapter 12

I started to wake up from slight movements in my bed, and from the fact that I was freezing my ass off. I opened my eyes to see a peaceful sleeping Otto, with all the covers. I gently pulled some of the covers off of him so we could have an equal amount, but he woke up.

"Good morning beautiful." He said pushing my hair out of my face.

"Good morning babe."

"So, I guess this is what went down last night." He said gesturing to both of our naked bodies.

I was laughing until I noticed his eyes were set on my wrist. All of my scars were still there. I totally forgotten about my scars. They are all over my thighs and arms. I pulled my arms back and hid them under the covers.

"I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to stare or make you upset. It's all In the past now, you don't have to worry about it. And plus, these scars make you who you are. They show that you've overcame a really bad battle. They tell you're story. You shouldn't be embarrassed of them" Otto said holding my arms.

He then kissed both of my arms and then my forehead.

"You always know what to say to make me happy. I think I finally picked the right guy."

We got up and got dressed. Otto threw on his clothes while I hopped in the shower. I let the water hit my body, and then a rush of pain hit me. I instantly threw up all in the shower. I then stared to remember all the drinks I had last night. It always have to come to this, me puking in a bathroom. The noise of the running water blocked the noise of me throwing up, so no one rushed to see if I was okay. I didn't want them to any way. I don't want them to constantly worry about me. I washed up, got dress, and then cleaned the shower. I walked out into the living room and all of the boys were watching tv. I went into the cabinet and grab granola bar. I got to the living room and sat by Otto.

"Well you two must've had a blast last night. I could tell by all of those noise that were coming from your room." Awsten laughed.

"I thought I was quiet." I sighed.

"Nope, you were the one I heard the most." Awsten said. "You should learn how to be quieter next time." He smirked.

My face got really red and everyone laughed.

"Leave her alone Awsten." Otto tried saying in between laughs.

"How loud she was doesn't matter, what matters is if you used protection." Geoff said.

"Yeah we did. Now stop making fun of us Awsten, and stop being a dad Geoff."

I was feeling fine, until the rush of pain came back again. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up right when I got to the toilet. I started to get the worst headache that I've ever experienced in my life.

"What's wrong jess? Are you okay?" Otto asked helping me up.

"Yeah, I just have a hangover from all those drinks last night. The night before always come to bite me in the ass." I laughed.

"Oh. Just take it easy today. Get in you're bed and I'll do everything. I'll make sure to keep the boys quiet."

"You don't have to Otto. I'm fine."

"Yes I do. Now go get in the bed."

Otto left the bathroom and I brushed my teeth and looked for some medicine for my headache. I searched and searched until I found it in The Bag. This bag was the bag that held all of my razor blades. All the memories came rushing in my head. I picked one up and stared at it. The blade was dull meaning that this one was the one I used the much. I heard footsteps coming to the bathroom, so I quickly got out and got in bed. I hid the razor blades under my bed so no one would find it but me. Underneath my bed was really messy, so I was sure that no one would find it. Otto walked back in with a big cup of tea.

"Here you go. I told Awsten and Geoff that you weren't feeling well, and that they needed to keep it down. But they just decided that it would be better if they just leave and let it just be the two of us. They're going back to Awsten house to work on the album."

"You didn't have to do this Otto. Really, you don't have to take care of me, I'm fine."

"I don't have to, but I want to. I love you jess, and I want to make sure your feeling good." He kissed me on the check and got in bed with me. "So, what are we going to watch on Netflix, or do you just want to sleep."

"I think sleeping would be best, but you could watch Netflix if you want."

I cuddled next to Otto and laid on his chest while he turned on Netflix. I was really tired, so I immediately closed my eyes. The last thing I remember seeing was Otto looking down at me and his amazing smile that could light up the whole room.

I was peacefully sleeping until a loud snore came from right next to me. I didn't know how loud of a snored Otto had until now. I rolled over to where I was facing Otto. He was still cute, even when snoring really loud. I checked my clock behind him and saw that it was 5:24 in the afternoon. Wow, I've  been asleep for a long time. I turned and then my stomach growled. All I had today was a granola bar, and then I grew that up. I tried to slip out of ottos arms, but he had a firm grip on my waist. I successfully got out without waking him up and went to the kitchen. Awsten and Geoff weren't back yet, so they were still working. I walked to my fridge and started looking for some food to make something to eat. I saw that there was left over pizza, so I went and got that. I put two pieces in a plate and heated it up. I sat at my table and stared at the pizza. Apart of me wanted to eat, while the other part wants to throw it away. That's when the voices came back.
Look at you. Look at how fat you have gotten. You're so fat, I'm surprised you haven't broken this chair yet. Why are you eating any way, what happened to me. Did you forget about me? Well let me Introduce myself again. I'm Ana, short for anorexia, and I want back into you're life. I mean, look what happened to you when you left me. You're week and fat. You gained so much weight while I was gone. You need me Jessica. I need to be the center of you're world. Now throw that pizza away. You don't need it.
This can't be happening again. I'm not fat, am I ? No, no I'm not. I blocked out the voices in my head and started eating the pizza. After I was done, I went back into my room. I sat back in my bed and turned on tv. I just started watching American dad. I kept thinking back to the pizza that I had. Was it really worth it ? I have gained a lot weight. I pulled my shirt up to expose my stomach. I pinched at all the fat I had. What happened to me? What happened to the beautiful person I was? I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I took off all my clothes and looked at myself. I'm disgusting, fat, hideous. I started looking for my scale but I couldn't find it.otto must've hidden it somewhere. I started panicking and hyperventilating. I stared at the toilet, knowing that that was the only way to stop this. I kneeled down by the toilet and stared into the bowl. Am I going back to this? I picked up my hand and pushed two fingers in my mouth. I was about to push them to the back of my throats until I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey, sorry to rush you, but I really have to pee." A groggy Otto said.

His voice snapped me out of everything. His voice brought me back to reality.

"Just a second I'm almost out." I yelled.

I quickly cleaned the bathroom and walked out. I pushed right passed Otto and got into my bed. I just sat there and stared at the tv. Otto walked out and sat next to me.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Um yeah. Everything is fine. "

He wrapped his arm around me and we continued to watch tv. Awsten and Geoff came back about two hours latter. Otto went to talk with them for a while, and they came back to talk to you. Everyone took their shower and started settling down. Otto was still kind of tired even though he slept for about two hours. I was wide awake since a slept for 6 hours. I just kept thinking about what happened. Am I going back down that path? I can't, I just recovered and everything. The thoughts were haunting me. I couldn't sleep at all. I just kept tossing and turning, trying to fight off the demons that were trying to enter. I don't want to go through this again. I don't think I'll be able to survive if I go through this again.