Skin & bones || Otto Wood

Chapter 6

*jessica's pov*
I drove home infuriated. Why did I do this. He probably doesn't want to hangout with Me anymore, he probably doesn't even want to be friends anymore. I always end up ruining friendships with people like this. This is why I have no friends, I drive them away because of how crazy I can get. I finally got  home and ran inside my apartment . I unlocked my door and just started crying. I ruin everything. I actually felt like Otto and I could've been something, we could've been more than friends. I went to my bathroom and got my razor. I just stared at it, and then stared at my arm. I could just picture all the cuts on my wrist. I then made contact with my wrist. It hurt at first, but then the pain went away. I just kept cutting. I watched the blood drip down my arm. I really liked Otto, and now I just pushed him away. I cleaned up all my cuts and went to bed. I didn't care about anything anymore. I honestly could just kill myself right now. No one would know and no one will care. I stared at the ceiling and slowly started drifting away.

I woke up with a raging headache. I quickly went to my medicine cabinet and took some Advil. I looked at my clock and saw that it was 1:34 pm. Great, I already slept threw half of my day. I soon heard my phone going off and I went to go check it. I saw that I had about 3 missed texts from Otto.
Otto: hey
So, I'm really sorry about what happened last night I didn't mean to make you mad.
I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but just know that I'm here for you and we can talk whenever you need to

I was glad that Otto wasn't leaving me, but I didn't  know what to say. He knows that I have a problem, and I really didn't feel like talking about it. He'll never understand how I feel and what I go through. I didn't really know what to say to Otto. I mean, what am I going to say? It's my fault that I'm anorexic and I get very offended and defensive when people want me to eat. I don't think so. I just didn't respond to him, which kills me. Not responding to him is just going to make it seem like I totally hate him, which I don't . It's just hard to come out to someone about something they will not understand. Otto texted me a couple of more times, but I didn't respond. There wasn't really much to do since I woke up in the middle of the day, so I just went back to my room and went back to sleep.