Wristbands L.h

Life

Violet
Taking a deep breath , I go towards the baby carrier where Carter lays . Luke stops my wheel chair , I put my hand in to hold Carter's one more last time .

His whole body is stone cold , but even then he's still my baby boy . My baby girl lays in the other carrier , she's sleeping peacefully .

I think of ' Photograph ' by Ed Sheeran , the nurse takes off the lid letting me see him fully . Slowly my arms wrap around Carter , I whisper " I'm sorry baby boy but your always be family your never not be I love you so much always ."

Lily lays fast asleep , going up to her the nurse takes off the lid . Her hand moves towards mine , grabbing my finger .

But she lets go , grabbing her brothers hand holding onto it for awhile . Tears pour down my cheeks , whilst Luke wraps an arm around me supporting me .

Michael grabs his phone taking a picture , one day he's gonna want to show that to Lily . She's going to know that even though he died , she still held his hand .

Putting Carter down in to the baby carrier , I go sit back in the wheel chair . Michael goes up to Lily , letting her wrap her small fingers around his .

Luke kisses my head whispers " everything will be okay " I nod , watching the guys go up to Lily and Carter . Lily would of made such a good sister , but it's okay she'll always be his sister and he'll be her brother .

Going out the room , I go towards my hospital room again wheeling towards the bathroom Luke closes the door behind me . Getting onto my feet , grabbing the clothes from the hospital bag and it falls onto the floor .

A baby blue onesie falls out , bringing tears to my eyes Carter wont ever wear that or grow out of the baby clothes we brought him . Only making reality hit harder then it did at first .

Luke opens the door , after knocking and slowly I break down crying into my legs holding on to them . He gets on his knees , wrapping his arms around me kissing my head whispering " its okay I know it hurts but we still have Lily and Lily I am grateful for Carter will always be ours ."

I cry " he'll never grow up with his sister they wont grow up together " Luke whispers " shh I know its okay he'll grow up there watching over his sister always and us " rubbing my back . The guys rush in , Michael says " aw Vi come here " I get up running into his arms .

He holds onto me tightly even when I start hitting him out of anger , Michael says " shh its okay hes okay I promise " I just sob harder at the mention of Carter . The guys hug me and Michael , Luke stands with his lips pressed to my forehead for a moment .

Taking a deep breath , I wipe my tears breathing in and out focusing on Luke who's holding me up right now . He says " lets bring our baby girl home where we all belong " I nod trying to smile but my lips do nothing . I cant smile through this .

Luke walks towards the front desk so we can sign out of the hospital , our baby girl lays asleep in her baby seat . Carter is going to be put with the other babies , we couldn't bring ourselves to keep him in the house or bury him . I couldn't do that .

Sitting in the back of the car , I put my hand out for Lily as she is now awake and her fingers wrap around mine holding on tight . A small smile spreads on my lips , maybe I can do this and maybe I can raise Lily even without Carter .

Luke

We arrive home , Violet is fast asleep but Lily's fingers are wrapped around her fingers and they look so cute . Michael takes a picture before grabbing the baby carrier , taking Lily inside the house before she catches something . Already hes a protective uncle .

Scooping Violet into my arms , I grab the hospital bag and walk into the house with the guys following behind . Taking a deep breath , I go up the stairs noticing how Michael is sat in the baby room in the rocking chair with Lily .

Walking past , I walk straight to our room sliding Violet into our bed she's probably really tired after today and last night .

She grabs onto my arm , I look down at Violet and tears run down her cheeks . My smile fades , I get into the bed pulling her close .

Violet sighs in my arms , I hear Lily cry but Michael shouts " I got it! Go sleep!" so eventually I let Vi sleep first .

One kid , almost at getting married to Violet . One baby who died last night , but he's okay I know he is .

One big family , well the guys and all because of that day I met Violet . I wouldn't take it back , but the wristbands keep me reminded ....

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