good boys & bad boys// phan

chapter thirty five

**dan**

Daylight broke and shined through Dan's curtains. Dan looked out of the misty window and watched raindrops roll down the panes of glass. 

Rain was like a burden that the clouds could no longer carry, tears from up above. How ironic, the sky was giving up too, Dan thought to himself as he stared up at the grey sky.

Dan sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. He tried to clear his head, forget about the past few days. He tried to think of nothing, submerge his thoughts in darkness. But with darkness comes stars. And that reminded Dan of only one person. And that was Phil Lester. 

The small glimmers of light and hope within the abyss and seemingly hopeless chasm of nothingness. That was Phil Lester. 

Dan's head was fuzzy. Things were no longer in focus, it was as though a blurred filter had been placed over his life. Everything was confusing Dan, and deja vu always seemed to be just around the corner. 

(flash back three years ago) 

'Mr Howell' 

'Yes?' 

'Do you want to good news or the bad news?' 

'I hate that, I've never understood this. Why can't you just tell me how it is' Dan sighed. 

'Well, you're free to go, I can formally discharge you' 

'Was that supposed to be the good news or the bad news?' 

'We've talked about this, words can be perceived however you want them to be. However, if I let you leave, I have to stop your treatment'  

'What? Completely?' 

He nodded. 'I'm afraid so Daniel' 

'So everything would stop?' 

'We just can't carry on treatment if you leave us' 

'What about pills? I can stay on medication right?' Dan asked.

'We can supply you with something, but the span of the pills would only last about a week' 

'A week? I thought I was told that I would be on medication for years' 

'We simply can't provide you with what you need' 

'If I stay here, the treatment will still continue though. So I'll just stay here until I feel better' 

'Daniel, I don't think you understand. I'm formally discharging you, there's no choice in the matter' 

'Doctor please, I can't go out there what if something happens?' 

'We feel as though we have built you up to be a stronger individual and us as a clinic are proud to discharge you Dan' he smiled. 

'Was told I was mental once' Dan laughed. 'Now I don't know who it's more true for, you or me' 

'I understand how you feel Daniel but this is best for you as a growing adolescent'