Time For A Change

Chapter Sixteen - His Sleeping Angel

*Jake’s point of view*

I opened my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today; they didn’t feel as heavy as before. My white, burry vision started to focus and return to it’s normal vision. I could see, I could fucking see! Relief washed over me, I could have done a happy dance even though I knew I was in no state to do so. I could barley move, for a moment the pain didn’t come but just as expected it suddenly rushed all over my body like electricity running through a circuit. I groaned, ok I screamed. It hurt. It really hurt, fuck being manly for a while. I waited to fall back into the sleep I was in like usual… I waited longer, gritting my teeth due to the pain, nothing happened. I was awake - I was awake for good.

A doctor rushed in, his breathing abnormal due to the fact he was out of breathe - he clearly didn’t do much exercise. My eyes scanned his gold name tag ‘Dr. Chamberlain’. I tried to talk but I couldn’t, it hurt, it hurt far too much. Tears streamed out of my eyes but I didn’t care anymore. I cried, I cried even though it hurt, I cried even though a man was in the room watching my every move, all my self-pride had gone out the window but right now I didn’t care about anything. The pain was too much, I wanted to die there and then. But she came to mind, all the memories rushed back into my head - the image of her body laying lifelessly on the floor, it was my fault. I cried harder, louder, not caring about the pain this time, I only cared about one thing in the whole entire world;  Lily.

I tore my leaking eye’s away from the doctors name tag, my vision still lingered on him for a moment though. He had messy black hair with stubble all over his face, his eyes looked tired but determined; determined to help whoever needed it. His eyes were a deep green colour and he was wearing a gown which was also green, matching the green and white styled room. I still couldn’t move any part of my body other than my fingers, most likely due to shock, I honestly didn’t think I would ever be able to open my eyes again, I honestly didn’t think I’d be alive. A machine beeped in my ear, my heart was racing apparently, Dr. Chamberlain didn’t know why, he looked afraid, concerned. He had no idea, but I did, I knew why my heart wanted to break through my flesh, I knew why it was beating as if it was going to explode; the answer was the same as before, the same girl who I had loved since I met her all them years ago, the same girl who I hadn’t spoken to in over 6 months, the same girl who I had hit - my Lily.

But she wasn’t mine was she? She never had been. Tears fell from my eyes, silent tears this time, no more sobbing. I guess that was better than looking like a useless, pathetic excuse of a man in front of another male who looked as if he felt sorry for me. I hated it when people gave me that look, that stupid fucking look which told you they felt your pain when in reality they had been trained to do that, they didn’t fucking understand! No one did. It was a good thing I couldn’t talk or the doctor, who was only trying to help, would have had a mouthful. I wasn’t really that annoyed at him but I was trying to blame someone when really I was the only one to blame, all this mess was my fault and I knew it.

My heart rate gradually got back to normal, the doctor felt reassured I could even sense it in the air as he took a seat next to me. His eyes tracing my body, lifting up the blankets placed over me, looking for blood I suspected but when he saw nothing, he looked me right in the eye which was a sign he was going to talk.

“I’m Dr. Chamberlain.” He pointed at his name tag, I rolled my eyes indicating I already knew that. “I’ve been checking up on you also with the help of two nurses; Lucy and Juliet.” He paused as if he was hesitating to say something but in the end he decided to say it anyway. “She’s been the nurse for your girl-” He looked at my reaction as I sobbed loudly and paused instantly. “Your friend too.” I sighed, the love clearly showing through my eyes as his widened, I closed my eyes, still listening. “You can hear me can’t you, Jacob?” I nodded as a growl escaped from my lips followed by a whine due to the stronger pain I caused myself by creating even a small noise. “You prefer Jake?” I nodded once more, not speaking. “Jake, you have broken most of your rips.” I nodded, tell me something I didn’t know, I wasn’t no medic but I knew something was wrong with them moments after I opened my eyes, the pain was unbearable, my teeth still were firmly snatched against one another but it wasn’t helping at all. “They will take roughly four to six weeks to heal, seven to heal completely.” I let out a loud husky breath, another pain shot through me, I gritted my teeth harder; it still didn’t help of course. The pain didn’t hurt less, not even a little. “They will feel painful every time you breathe in, you may feel you can only take shallow breaths.” I sighed, that was exactly what I was trying to do “but Jake,” I reopened my eyes, his tone of voice seemed to want me to, I was able to turn my head so my eyes were locked with the man’s eyes, who I knew had helped saved my life. “It’s important you try to breathe normally, to allow your lungs to expand fully.” I nodded my head, trying to breathe normally, no matter how much it hurt, I had to get better, I had too. “You have a bad case of swelling, you wont be able to sit up for a while, not yet anyway. It’s only been five days, the area will be tender and you have multiple bruising to the skin.” I nodded my head, still not being able to let a single word slip from my lips, my mouth was drier than before.