In A Gang Leaders Debt.

Chapter 24. Infatuation

Have you ever scraped your knee? Or perhaps was it your elbow. Have you every thought you hurt yourself so bad that you believed it was forever? That pain the scars, all of it was just always? Overtime you learn from the experience, must of us at least do. You become more cautious of life; instead of getting right back up on your bike after falling, you hesitant to avoid the pain. Instead of reaching out anxiously to grab something off the hot stove you find yourself freezing. The memory of the burn carved on your arm or finger in black and purple.
The thing about external scars is that they will fade. Maybe not completely but you can visibly see the difference.
But when their internal, when their carved on your heart and scraped on you soul, you'll never know when they'll fade or if they'll ever will
because you can't see them. You just feel them, there is no bandaged or stitches to help you get through it, to help pull yourself back together, to help you heal. 
Except yourself.
And that's the most hardest thing for most to do: helping their self's.

Being around people like Ace, people that know how to build walls around their souls and locked gates across their hearts is one thing. Falling for someone with those qualities is a completely different one.

When he dropped me off that day, just yesterday. I looked him in the eye before getting out that car and for the first time-  since I meet him well, correction: since the first that I saw him.
I noticed how his eyes mirrored his soul. Such a dark color but twisted with light, that shines with beauty. And when I looked in his eyes I saw my reflection staring back at me and me staring at him, and I knew then, at that moment, in that second, that everything leads back to him.

Realizing your falling for someone  that's not right for you is like your ridding a bike all over again, this time on a bumpy hill leading to a cliff. And you know that at the end your going to get hurt, but you don't know how to stop it. So you just keep pedaling hoping that when the time comes you learn how to use the breaks. That you'll learn how to stop before you fall to hard. Before you break.

I was falling in love with Ace Anderson.
A gang leader.
A murder.
And the crazy part is, I didn't care.
Infatuation is what they call it.

"Your father wants to see you."
Mom. I look around startled to see her leaning in on my door with her nurse attire on. Acceptance. It came earlier than I thought it would. Her hairs down, curling on her shoulders her face is clear as day, eyes glossed with what what used to be tears but now is acceptance. Her lips are curled up in a light smile, unforced. Just there as natural as ever.

I clear my throat getting off my bed from daydreaming slightly.
"Oh, alright then," I say unsure on how to respond to her on the topic she wouldn't even look upon a day ago.

She frowns a little nodding once.
"Good. He wants you to come visit him and his fiancé at his house this Friday," she says gently not breaking eye contact with me. I could feel my face drop along with everything else in me. My breathing seemed to disappear, snatched out of my chest.
It hurt, and I didn't know where. I shake my head at her standing up from the bed.

Impossible.
"No, no I just saw him a week ago. That's impossible and the divorce isn't  finalized," I speak loudly at her in pure confusion. She sighs leaning on the door crossing her arms across her chest.

"Jinxette, the divorced has been finalized and complete for a while now. Your dad meet a women named Marlin a while back, you have to understand he loves her now not me.
But he still loves you so very much, he doesn't want to lose you. We decided for your benefits to share custody over you, saying this you need to visit him." Her words collide with my gut and I suddenly feel sick. The type of sick that tears you apart from the inside out. 

"You knew! You knew this whole time and never thought you should tell me? I can't even look at you right now." Tears cloud my eyes like a rainstorm though I hold them the best I can.
She looks away from me finally and sighs again. I've grown to hate the noise.
"You were always gone with god knows who anyways. It was none of your business, it didn't concern you," her voice is so calm and reserved it only fires me up more.

"It didn't concern me! It had everything to concern with me. How could you be so selfish and unconcerned. This is my dad for crying out loud I bet it was your fault he left. He probably couldn't bare being around such a bïtch! I don't bla-"

Her hand stricked me across the face and I felt it before I saw the motion of her withdrawing her hand. It didn't hurt and I expected it coming. I looked at her with a twisted grin to see her horrified face masking the internal pain that had noting to do with the smack. Dad's stronger but her hit hurt more.

"I'm leaving." No anger was pent up behind those words and I'm surprised how much I sounded like Ace. Emotionless.

I didn't pack a bag or  grab clothes I just walk out the door. Our shoulders brush slightly but I ignore it like I ignore her calling my name. I walk down the stair and make my way to the front door opening it then slamming it behind me.

I go where no one would find me. Where no one would look. Ace's house. The gang leader's home. His pack.

|××××××××××{•••••••••••}×××××××××××|

A/N
Hey you guys I've noticed I was getting more viewers so I rushed to update for you guys. I also reviewed some of my first chapters and noticed the grammar errors. I corrected a few though. This is the second book I never really
Put any effort in doing, I never finished any books besides one so far so I hope you guy are enjoying.

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