In A Gang Leaders Debt.

Chapter 19. || Ending The Dept.

*unedited*

We all have a breaking point. No matter how strong you are, or pretend to be there will always be that moment of weakness that will seek in and capture you. No matter what you do are where you are everything has a way of unraveling at the end. Secrets get exposed, hearts get wounded, people get older, and heart grow stronger, until there strong enough to not know anything.

This isn't my breaking point.

This is just a warning that things are going to get hell a lot harder and if I can't get through this then I'll never be able to put myself back together when I do.

I never thought I would miss the days I was invisible, I always assumed the girl in the front row the one with the center of attention had it so easy, but maybe she was breaking to, faster than the rest of us but my eyes are blind.
They only know what they see and what they see is never completely real. It's only been a month. Yet when I look in the mirror the girl I used to be is long gone and I'm not just talking about my appearances anymore I'm talking about the person  I was. I no longer know who I am.

Everything is so rushed and happening so fast I didn't even realize I was drowning again, and worser than the last time because at least than, when I couldn't breathe I could feel the light haze in the back of my mind taking over. Now I'm just drowning with no escape only hopping for a ending as certain as death.

And its only been a month.

I'm no longer so called scared. It's hard to be scared these days. The first thing I did when I woke up was text Ace. I called off being his pet, yet I know it's not just going to end like that. I know I have a lot ahead of me but I'm so at ease with being in this moment.

I dress in a dark blue sweater, and cut off blue demi shorts. I then decided to brush my hair up in a messy bun. Just to make a overlapping stereotypical appearance I even put on my reading glasses, slipping on black flats lastly.

The fact that it was quite down the hall and down the stairs made my chest ache more so then my face.
I know he's here. I know he's waiting to take me to school. So I walk down the stairs slowly and aware. My mom's not making breakfast like always. Instead she's drinking coffee out a black mug and something gives me vibes that it's not just coffee.

My throat burns from the anxiety caught in it. She's tired. Not from sleep though. Her hairs slowly turning gray and the more you look at her the more you can tell, she's living in a absolute hell.

She looks up from her mug glancing at me with slight linger.
"He's waiting for you outside." Her voice is dry even though her lips barely left her mug. She's dressed in her regular clothes like she isn't going to work.
She didn't say my father. At one point she use to even refer to him as his first name but that was before the flood, before the storm became who we are.
This is her breaking point.

I don't acknowledge her after that I can't even look at her.
I walk outside and there he is. Leaning against his 2016 BMW without a care in the world. His dark hair slicked back dressed in his casual jeans and a white long sleeve shirt.

He looks at me in my eyes and I don't truly know who he is  but when I look in his eyes it's like I can see right through them and it's like I'm staring in a mirror, like he can see right through me to.

"Get in the car and pull down your sweater, your shoe is untied and you didn't wear your whitening strips last night did you? Never mind don't even answer that. " I almost laugh but the flashback to the blow to my face shakes every ounce of humor out of me.

He takes his keys out his pocket and unlocks the door moving to the drivers seat. I stand frozen for a second before swallowing my slight anxiety and moving to the passengers seat. I was close to sitting in the back but I felt as if he would only yell at me for being pathetic.