Endlessly - Preath

Chapter 43

(Jay's POV)

"Hey," I said to Ben as we walked down the hallway to our home room. "Is it cool if we go to the park tonight?"

"Works for me," he smiled.

"Great," I grinned.

We walked to class, meeting Beverly along the way. "Is it cool if Shelby comes with us to the park tonight?"

"Yeah!" Ben said enthusiastically, while I just nodded.

He nudged me. "What is up with you and her?" he whispered so only I could hear.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

We finished our walk to class. Finally after what felt like forever, we were walking to the park with Shelby in tow. She and Beverly were talking like they hadn't seen each other in years.

At the park while Ben and I juggled a soccer ball between us, Shelby and Beverly threw a softball back and forth. I kept getting distracted by them. Everything about them looked right. The way Shelby laughed at something Beverly said, the way Beverly smiled every time their eyes met. It looked so right.

It was so wrong.

After an hour and a half we decided to take a walk. We walked downtown and hung out in a small diner. "Um," Shelby sighed as we sipped our drinks. "I need to tell you guys something."

"What's up Shelbs?" Beverly asked, their eyes locking again. Only this time, neither of them smiled.

"I think... I think I like girls."

It was as if I hadn't heard her. It took me a full minute to register what had just happened. Shelby had just come out. To me. To Ben.

To Beverly.

"Shelby that's great!"

Shelby grinned. "Thanks Bev, I um, I," she trailed off, playing with the bracelet on her wrist. "S-sorry."

"For what?"

"Nothing," she looked away quickly, catching my eye.

"Shelbs, tell me," she pushed her shoulder so their eyes were locked.

"It's just... Bev..."

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna go out with me?"

It was as if time had stopped. One moment I was watching as Beverly looked mildly shocked. I wanted to stay in that moment. I wanted to stay there forever. I didn't want to hear her answer because it could mean my destruction.

"Shelby..."

Shelby looked away. I knew what she was expecting. It was what I expected. A no. A simple no. Let her down easy Bev, but let her down please.

"I would love to."

My world stopped. My entire world just seemed to stop. Ben smiled at them and then looked at me. His face went from happy to worried. "Jay? You alright? You look like you just saw a ghost."

"I don't feel well," I managed to choke out.

The lump in my throat was rising. The tears were beginning to form. I couldn't cry. Not here, not in front of them.

"I'll walk you home," Ben helped me up and put his arm around me. "You two have fun."

As soon as we were outside the diner, I collapsed. I collapsed into his arms and I cried. He knew why. I have a feeling he always did.

He walked me to his house and told his moms I was feeling sick. He took me upstairs to his bedroom and handed me his hoodie. "Lets watch a movie," he suggested.

We lied on his bed and I laid my head on his chest. He pulled up Netflix on his phone and held it where we could both see it. I don't even know what it was. He just let me lie there, one arm wrapped around me. "Everything is gonna be okay," he whispered softly as the movie ended.

I felt like I was all cried out. I wasn't usually an emotional person, and yet here I was, sobbing on my best friend. He kept his arm around me as we walked downstairs. "Hey Jay," Tobin said. "Feeling any better?"

"Yes ma'am," I smiled.

"That's good," she pulled me into a hug. "You had us worried."

Christen pulled me into a hug as well. "The good news is you aren't warm," she said as she put her hand to my forehead. "So maybe you were just stressed?"

"You're probably right," I said, leaning back into Ben who had wrapped his arm around me again.

Beverly came through the door just then. "Hey Mom, hey Mama," she smiled. "Hey Ben. Jay how ya feeling?"

"Better," I said simply.

"That's good," she handed me a cup. "I got you some hot chocolate."

"You're the best," I smiled.

I set the hot chocolate on the coffee table and hugged her. She held on. "We need to talk," she whispered.

"Gotcha," I whispered back.

I grabbed my hot chocolate and headed upstairs with Beverly. Ben said he was gonna go hang out with the triplets. "So," Beverly said as she shut the door. "Shelby is amazing."

"I bet," I smiled.

"I've honestly kind of felt the same way for so long," she stared off into the distance. "I think we're going to be an amazing couple, don't you?"

"Yeah Bev," I reassured her. "I'm sure you will be."

She smiled. "Thanks for being so supportive Jay. I promise nothing between us is going to change, you're my best friend, I can't lose you to some girl who I'm dating."

I grinned. "I love you Bev."

She grinned back. "I love you too Jay."

It wasn't until later that night, when I was lying in bed that I realized I meant it. I meant it more than anything I had ever said before.

I loved Beverly Michaela Press-Heath, and there was no one in the world who could change that.