A Reason

chapter 24

Marcus decided to come with me to the pub, he brought Amy along with him and they decided to have a few drinks and get a taxi back. I hesitated at first, debating whether or not to rearrange with Blake but Marcus assured me he'd drink at the other end of the pub because the football was on and he wanted to watch it. Apparently he liked football now.

When we got there it was just before seven and I couldn't see Blake at the bar so I sat there and waited, ordering a coke while I waited. It didn't take long for Blake to come back up with a bucket, he hooked it up a hand-pull pump before pulling the ale out. That when he noticed me "Oh, Myra, hey."

"What you doing?" I asked him.

"Oh, changing the barrel." He chuckled "So what's up? You wanted to talk."

I nodded, taking a sip out of my coke through the straw. "It's this 'talk' you want to have with Dylan."

His body stiffened "What about it?"

"I know you well enough to know you don't want to talk to him." I was whispering, unsure as to what I was saying and unsure as to how he was going to react.

He stopped pulling on the pump for a moment and leant on it as he looked at me "You don't know me at all anymore..."

I perked up at this, I wanted to tell that I did, that I understood how he was feeling, that I wanted to know him more than anything in the world. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, the words were stuck in my throat and I was too scared to say them.

"Why do you even want to fight Dylan?" I whispered, I couldn't even look at him and instead I look down at my drink and stirred it with the straw.

He sighed and I looked up again "I do want to talk to him, with words Clay. I want to make sure he's right for you."

My face dropped, I couldn't help it. Had he given up on me? "What about us?" I asked "Me and You?"

"What about us?" he scoffed and continued to pull the hand-pull into the bucket. "I get it, you see Dylan every day, and you only call me when you need something."

I frowned at him for that one "You're an idiot."

He chuckled, unfazed.

"You're an absolute bloody idiot. You're arrogant, cocky and argumentative." I stood from the stool "But so am I."

"Where are you going with this Myra?" he asked not even looking at me.

"It's you." I said quietly "It's always been you."

"Then do you spend all your time with Dylan? You've been kissing him, Elliot told me."

I looked at my drink "Look, I've just been through two years of therapy for what happened to me but it doesn't mean I'm over everything. I hurt you, and facing you straight away was something I couldn't do. And seeing you since is still just as difficult..." I looked him dead in the eyes now, facing up to my vulnerability "I'm never going to be that girl again, I'm never going to be Ginger, I'm not a fighter, and I was afraid that when I found you again you would have expected it."

He left the pump and walked out the bar and came back round to me. He didn't speak and just grabbed my wrist lightly in his pulling me through a door and into a little office room. He sat me down on one of the sofas to the side and sat down next to me.

"I don't expect you to be a fighter after everything you've been through..." he said quietly. "Fighting was something you did to deal with a difficult situation, I understand that Myra. And now you're not in that situation anymore I don't want you to fight, not now, not ever."

"But you still do it." I told him "you still fight."

"Elliot?" he asked and I nodded "Yeah, I think he's been trying to get us back together since the beginning to be honest."

I scoffed but didn't say anything, waiting for him to explain.

"Yes." He said after a long moment "I still go to that Gym at least three times a week. But the only reason I do, the only reason I ever started fighting in the first place, was because of you. And when you left, its only thing I could do to make myself remember you in the right way, that you were fighting to surviving, that you were coming back."

I sniffed and looked down unsure what to say to that "Please stop..." I said "please."

He seemed stunned for a moment; maybe it was because I have never said that to him before, I have never begged him for something like this. But this was something that means something to me; I needed him to stop fighting.

"Okay..." He said slowly, still looking shocked "Okay, I'll stop fighting. If..."

"If?"

"If you'll go on a date with me. Properly, no arguing or tears this time." He flashed me a half grin "I not hurt Dylan, not even talk to him. I promise, Myra."

I wanted to smile. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch and before I knew it I was smiling. For real this time, a genuine smile because I was actually happy. No fake smiles, no keep secrets and no hiding.

Sitting here with Blake promising to stop fighting, alone and waiting, I leant forwards. Taking charge again. Being me again.

I pressed my lips against his softly, hands tangling in his hair "It's always been you." I whispered against his lips.

A/N: Okay so we're coming to the end of A Reason, only a few more chapters to go and i'll try and get them done before the end of Christmas break!