A Reason

Chapter 5

I had finished shopping pretty quickly after that, got a few t-shirts and the rest of my college supplies within another half an hour and doubled back to meet Amy. I felt bad about my plan to ditch her; if I ran from her then I'll be running from Marcus. He'd take it personally and I didn't want to hurt him. And if pretending to get along with Amy will keep him happy then I was willing to play along.

I found Costa, where Amy had been waiting, pretty quickly and soon enough I was inside and staring at the back of her as she spoke on the phone.

Amy laughed, shook her head and then said, "No, I swear, she's a little freak. She threatened to knock me. I know she's got some serious problems-"

I cleared my throat suddenly and she jumped around to look at me.  When her eyes connected with mine she almost dropped her phone. "Shit... Shit, I've got to go." And then she hung up.

I stared at her, furious as to what she was saying about me. My hands curled into fists at my side as I stared down at her. And to think I was actually starting to feel bad about wanting to ditch her...

When I don't say anything but stare at her she asked in a quiet voice, "M-Myra, you're finished already?"

My eyes watered on their own accord, I tried to blink them back but the tears were coming too fast for me to keep up and they spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them. I was furious, madder than I looked as I stood here crying, but it was either that or punch her in the face. I'm not going to lie, that sounded rather tempting but I had to remind myself that this was Marcus' girlfriend, I couldn't hurt her physically.

"How..." She hesitated "How much did you hear?"

"You're a real piece of shit, you know that?" I said and furiously whipped the tears from my cheeks.

"I... I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" I found myself laughing through my tears but there was no humour to my words "You're sorry?! Fuck your sorry, Amy."

"I-"

"What?" I adjusted the bags of shopping in my hands. My hands itched to reach over and punch her but I focuses on the bags in my hands, my grip tightening. "What could you possibly say that's going to change my mind about your slimy ass right about now?"

She didn't say anything, just looked down

"Fuck you. I'm leaving." I turned, ready to storm off, ready to go anywhere but here. I didn't know where I was going but anywhere was going to be better than spend the rest of my day with her. Someone who was not only dating my big brother, but hated me enough to laugh at me behind my back but not enough to say anything to my face.

"Myra, wait!"

I stopped and looked over my shoulder

"Don't tell Marcus about this..."

I scoffed.

I can't believe I actually felt bad for planning to ditch her! Well, I'm sorry Marcus but as it turns out, I'm leaving after all.

I left Costa and the shopping centre behind me and stormed out. My eyes were closed so I didn't see who it was when some reach out and grabbed me.

Eyes shot open and I spun, bags already dropping to the floor, my fist ready to connect with the person but then I saw who it was and I froze.

"B-Blake?"

He was taller now, his brown hair shorter than I remembered it being but it was most definitely Blake, there was no denying it.

"Myra?" He asked green eyes widening "oh my fucking God, Myra?"

"I, er, I have to go." I muttered before scrambling to pick up my bags that I had dropped.

"Myra is that you?" He asked still dazed.

I had my bags. I ran.

"Myra!" I heard him call after me but I refused to turn, refused to face him, it was too soon.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, past the shopping centre and past the turn off to Marcus' street. I stumbled an tripped a few times but I kept picking myself up again, forcing my legs faster and further.

When I finally collapsed I was in a park, I fumbled for my phone and rang the first person I thought of.

"Hello?"

My breathing was rapid from the sight of Blake and from the run here. "Doctor Logan... I... I saw... Shit!"

"Myra? Myra take a deep breath, calm down." He said soothingly

"He... I..." I raked my hands through my hair "I saw Blake."

He was silent for a second. I closed my eyes slumping further to the ground, eyes squeezing shut.

"Where are you now?" He asked.

I gave him the name of the park I was in

"Myra, listen to me, stay put. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I nodded, realised he couldn't see me and said "yeah... Okay."

I ended the phone call and fell onto my back, eyes staring up at the sky, chest heaving with every breath. With a shaking hand, I pressed two fingers against my neck to check my pulse. It was fast, my heart beating rapidly inside my rib cage. Squeezing my eyes shut I trie to stop the tears as more slips down my face. So I forced my breathing to slow, deep breath in, deep out, over and over until the beating of my heart calmed.

I was still shaking, my breathing still controlled as to not go into another panic mode.

Doctor Logan found me a few minutes later, I was still lying across my back on the grass eyes unblinking at the sky. He said, "One. Two. Three..."

He was counting to ten, it was supposed to be a way to stay sane and calm my nerves.

"Four. Five. Six..."

I sighed, my sliding close as I focused on what he was saying.

"Seven. Eight. Nine..."

I pushed myself up.

"Ten."

I looked across at him, breathing still harder then i should be.

"Now, do you feel better?"

"No." I lied and looked and away, refusing to meet his eyes. "Can you take me home?"

"Sure," I heard his voice say "You get in the car, I'll get your bags and then I'll take you home."

But I wasn't going home, not really. I doubted Amy would have told Marcus the whole story about what had happened in Costa. She told me not to tell him, so maybe she wouldn't tell him anything at all, maybe Marcus wouldn't know.

But I couldn't lie to my brother. Not for a woman who was so spineless she couldn't tell me I was a freak to my face. Not for a woman who is so afraid of disappointing Marcus she wants me to lie to my own brother about something she did to me.

So no, I wasn't going home. I was to a house that I'm living in.

Amy hates me.

Maybe I should give her a reason to?