A Reason

Chapter 16

We sat with Elliot and his skater mates at dinner in the atrium, Elliot instantly knew I had been crying, and when asked I just sighed and refused to answer him. He got the hint after the first few times, and Dylan definitely wasn't in a rush to tell him. I was picking at my donut, my stomach churned to the sight of the food but I couldn't help but remember that Dylan had brought it me, and eating it was kind of like accepting him. I don't know, I was thinking too much, Dylan had noticed it when we was practising our dance, I was getting the easy moves wrong and he was laughing me but I could tell he was annoyed about it.

I pushed my donut away, I didn't want it. I felt like it was mocking me.

"Aren't you eating?" Dylan asked me.

"Not hungry." I told him, but like my own personal punishment my stomach growled.

He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing me or my stomach "You need to eat something, Red." He said.

I shrugged at him "I will."

"When?"

"Later."

"If this is about earlier?" he said slowly.

"-What happened earlier?" Elliot was quick to interject into our conversation. He looked between me and Dylan for a moment "What happened?"

"Nothing." Me and Dylan said at the same time.

Elliot scoffed "Yeah, right."

"It doesn't matter what you think," I muttered to Elliot, then to Dylan "And it doesn't matter what you think either. I'm not hungry, I don't want the donut."

"You're not hungry or don't want to the donut, because they're different things, Red." Dylan stated.

I looked up to him "I don't want to donut, right now. I might get... hungry later but right now I don't want the donut..."

Elliot blinked "I get the sense this isn't just about the donut..."

But me and Dylan ignored him.

Dylan smirked across at me "I'm not keeping the donut forever, you know."

I frowned at him, confused over our metaphors and what they meant "Then take you shouldn't have given me the donut in the first place!"

Elliot gave a dramatic sigh and shoved a packet of crisps in my hands "Forget the donut, Myra." He said, seeming even more confused than we were "Just take my crisps, I'll get something else."

Before I could object Elliot stalked over to the college shop and if it wasn't for my stomach growling the way it was, I would have left them. I didn't want to be here anymore, I just felt like shit. In a heartbeat Dylan has made me hate coming to college, well, not college altogether I guess. Maybe I was over exaggerating but I couldn't help it, Dylan was in my course I spend every minute with him...

God, why did he have to kiss me?

I ate Elliot's crisps in silence, listening to the sound of Dylan's voice as he spoke with the other lads at our table. I wanted to go home, I wanted to stay, I didn't know what I wanted.

I stood and stalked over to the toilets, my phone already to my ear, and after a few rings, he answered "Myra?"

"I don't know what to do, I... I don't know if I can keep doing this."

As always, Doctor Logan was clam and easy "What happened?"

"He fucking kissed me!" I hissed "Twice!"