Speed ♡ | a.f.i

C h a p t e r .23

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"So... call me maybe?" Aiden asked after he squeezed my freaking soul out of me with his strong arms. I pushed him back gently, laughing a little. "Goodbye Aiden." I said. Soon he disappeared into his aunts car that had come to pick him and his family up from the airport. His aunt seriously disliked me. Like seriously. I recall she had caught Aiden unbuckling his pants because he wanted to "divirgen" my mouth. As soon as she walked in on us she widened her eyes and immediately walked out like if she was on fire. The rest of the evening she kept staring at me like if i were ridiculously small letters on a piece of paper. "Please don't call him." A nice soft voice like silk that i knew so well begged bringing me out of my weird, weird thoughts. I remained quiet and frozen as if i was ice. "Sorry if i uh... you know, startled you." He continues when i don't respond back. I didn't say anything, i didn't even look at him. I hadn't spoken to him. Not at all. After our little moment back at the hotel i left him hanging, on the edge. "What happened Katherina?" Ashton asks me placing his warm hands on my cold arms, desperately wanting me to let him in. But no i couldn't. I shouldn't. I really wanted to, i really did but i couldn't do that to him. Not Ashton. Not this boy. Not the boy i was completely and undeniably feeling... something for. I didn't know what that something was. Heck I've never felt anything like it before and as long as i didn't pay attention to what that something was, i knew i would be over it. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss Katherin. "Don't worry about it Ash." I let those words out of my mouth carefully before i said what i really want to say. Worry about it Ash. My Ash. Not stupid blonde Caroline's, not anyone's but my Ash and mine only. But he wasn't property and he was not mine. Yet there was this other part of me... the bigger part of me that said he was indeed property and that he was absolutely mine. While i was having the award winning inner mind battle of the year, Ashton was just puzzled and searching with his hazel eyes into my very own. At first i didn't realize it but he had gotten extremely close to me and his proximity was messing with me so much. "Don't you get it Katherina," He tells me grabing my chin with his fingers. "I can't not worry dummy." He continues placing a delicate kiss on my mouth. My stomach felt like if it did multiple backflips. It was crazy how he could do those things to me. I was crazy to let this bullshit continue. I was being, dare i say it... selfish? Usually i would be selfish. Keyword usually. "I'm s-sorry." I say when i push him off of me when he is about to bring his mouth back to mine. His mesmerizing eyes look pleading for me to come back when I run away from him as fast as i can.

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A hundred and sixty eight hours. I hadn't got out of my dark, cozy cave, aka my room. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me and that seriously made me want to punch myself in the throat, followed by decapitating Caroline. "Do you love him Katherin?" Her words kept replaying in my mind over and over again, causing me to feel nauseous, which was what i frequently felt nowadays. I hated her for asking me that preposterous question. I hated her for telling me that if i didn't... love him i shouldn't play with him because he was a great guy. But mostly i hated her because i knew she was probably right. Probably. I sighed as i stared at my ceiling feeling defeat. "I can't not worry dummy." His freaking voice said in my mind precisely in this moment. My world never really floated around anyone before... sure back then there was Aiden but he was just a little childish crush. When it came to Ashton i spent seconds turning into minutes turning into hours thinking about him. It was a punishment whenever i remembered his strong intoxicating scent, and then there was the way he kissed me hard, yet fragily sending waves of electricity down my spine.

"Woman you're not thinking about what our Katherina wants!" I hear my father yell downstairs. What the hell was going on now to top everything. "Who cares about what she wants, she has to do what i tell her to!" Lucy screams back to my father. I managed to get off of my bed without falling and i quietly head downstairs. "I will not make her do anything against her will Lucy!" My dad responds back in a louder tone that i had never heard before. "You know what you're annoying me, therefore have fun sleeping with the couch tonight!" My mother said stomping her way out of our kitchen like a little kid that didn't get what she wanted. I guess i inherited that from her. That explains alot. "Maybe I'd rather sleep with the couch than with you!" Dad ends the conversation with that statement and he drinks his burning hot coffee. He looked tired and worn out and i didn't like seeing him like this. He always was the strong, calm, and collected man. That's how it should always be. "What happened daddy?" I ask even though i already know what might have gone down. "I didn't know you were there darling." He obviously stalls. I don't know why but i walk towards him and i hug him feeling like a little girl. "Was it about... Ashton?" I question, hating that i had to say his name. I stopped hugging him and i looked him straight in the eyes. "She thought about getting Aiden and you to become more than friends, i think she needs to stop putting you out there like bait cause i don't want you to end up unhappy, i want you to end up with the right guy, not forced into anything." He says sincerely with sad eyes. But i can't end up with the right guy dad... that's not what is in store for me.
"Your mother... she was always a very manipulating woman, she always wanted to get her way and she did, but when i met her that was what had me interested." He said sighing, yet kind of smilling remembering. "How did you know... how did you know that she was the one when there are alot of women out there?" I question my father frowning. "I didn't know she was the one, everyone thought she was a snake but i on the other hand, i just felt something undiscribable, it was the way her hand felt on mine, it was how she would rest her head on my shoulder, how she would always make me feel better by mocking me, it was how she would look at me like if i was the only person in the world, it was the way she pushed my buttons." He drinked his coffee and yawned. After a couple of minutes in complete silence he finally spoke. "It's getting late you should go to bed... goodnight dear." My father said leaving me alone. I sat on a stool infront of our countertop. The countertop. I stood up and i went to the exact place history had went down on. Well almost went down. I let my finger tips skim the surface of the countertop as images of what happened here took over my mind. No. I will not remember him anymore. This insanity ended now. Whatever this was. Maybe if i finally got my way with him... maybe if i traced and explored every inch of his strong body, maybe then i could forget him for once and for all. Yeah closure thats what i needed. Why didn't i think about this brilliant idea before? I was reaching into my back pocket to get out my phone and call Caroline telling her about my new plan when i remembered that i was now on my own. Caroline was always my closest friend since we were five, i befriended her when no one else did because she was awesome, she wasn't like those snakes that i used to call friends, but it didn't matter right now because we weren't on speaking terms anymore... and she was a snake now. If i had told her about this and nothing had happened between us she would've told me YOLO but who was i kidding that wasn't a brilliant idea. Nothing i ever did was a brilliant idea and i was just starting to discover that. I had to stay away from him. I had to avoid that curly haired boy even if it was impossible.

HELLOOOOO!! :')))
I AM NOT DEAD, I REPEAT I AM NOT DEAD.
YEAH YEAH I KNOW I DISSAPEAR ALOT SORRY. SO HERE TAKE THIS CHAPTER AS A PIECE OFFERING ♡
ILY
Xoxo
-C