LGBT Oneshots ✅

Mistletoe

Alex considered himself pretty sick at gift giving.

He'd never been one to go small or boring so, when it'd come to secret Santa, it'd been pretty tricky. He'd only know his flatmates for two months when the names were pulled out and that was hardly enough time to get a personalised gift and Alex absolutely refused to stoop as low as bathing sets or chocolate. So he might've snuck into Robert's room a few times or casually dropped into conversation gift ideas.

It was how he knew Robert had never owned a Christmas jumper and, well, that was a travesty.

He'd been keeping an eye out for jumpers over the past few days, aware that he had enough time to be choosy. But it was taking longer than he thought to find one that was just perfect.

And then he found it.

"Megan," he said, kicking her chair for her attention, "what do you think of this sweater?"

She leant across the table to look at it, frowning, "Looks pretty standard to me. I like the print but isn't it the same as a dozen other ones you rejected?"

He swiped to the next picture across. "Yeah, but this has mistletoe on the back. See, look at the bottom."

That had Megan's attention, "Ooh, this is new."

"Do you think he'll like it?"

"I think he'll like it more than the dildo you got him for his birthday."

Alex grinned. That had been a good day. They'd got to know each other quite well on the first day when they'd all moved in to their halls of residence and, while Robert wasn't flamboyantly gay, he wasn't hiding it. So, as they'd gotten steadily drunker, the jokes had gotten cruder and Robert had taken them all on the chin and given his own back. Alex had been relieved he'd got on with his flatmates so well and they'd had a wild first night to celebrate the fact.

Sometime after that, he'd gone shopping with Megan to a lingerie shop he'd always just walked past before and they'd spent twenty minutes aided by a shop assistant, who found the whole situation as hilarious as they did. And Robert wasn't an innocent, he had as dirty a mind as any of them, but he was a virgin and he blushed like one when he opened his present.

"Is that a—" he choked, shaking his head.

"It's a dildo." Alex said helpfully.

Robert rolled his eyes, getting over some of his embarrassment. "I know what it is. I just don't understand why you thought I'd need one."

"Well, when you get lonely at night—"

Megan lunged at him, covering his mouth. "You can use it as a doorstop and we'll see the door's open and keep you company."

Alex licked her hand.

"You're disgusting."

He grinned, "Not as disgusting as what our boy will be doing tonight."

Robert never did use it, as far as Alex knew, at least not for its normal purpose. Instead, he'd used it as a doorstop for a bit until it got too hairy and dirty and the cleaner caught sight of it. Robert hadn't been able to meet her eyes for a week and Alex still laughed about it.

"Maybe I should get him one of those grow-your-own-boyfriends." Alex mused. "I think he needs one."

"The sweater could probably get him a real one, if someone did kiss him under the mistletoe."

"Consider me sold, then."

It arrived a few days later and Alex packaged it neatly in Megan's wrapping paper and placed it under their flat tree, ready for their Christmas meal. It took a little longer than they thought it would when they had to put the turkey back in the oven for a second time but it was worth the wait. They'd made sure to buy all the trimmings and there was even an indulgent yule log with the Christmas pudding to finish it off.

"I'm stuffed." Alex groaned, making a show of unbuttoning his jeans. "That's the most I've eaten in forever."

"Me too," Megan sprawled back in her chair ungracefully, party hat slipping down. "Someone please get the presents."

It was a while before anyone felt like moving, enjoying the company of the flat and a good meal. Eventually, one of the girls caved and went to grab the parents and Alex made the small effort of clearing the remnants of the crackers off the table and throwing them in the bin. He might've missed by a mile. Megan went further and actually moved the dirty dishes into the sink.

"Which one's mine?" Alex asked, making grabby hands at the pile of presents.

"Here." One of the girls handed him a box with a bow. "It's got your name on."

He had the presence of mind to take the bow off before ripping the wrapping paper and uncovering his grooming kit. It could've been worse, he supposed, because Megan had gotten a novelty tin filled with cookies. She'd never been as bothered about presents as he was, more about friends and family during the holiday season, but even her mouth twisted downwards.

"Oh, a Christmas sweater." Robert held his present up, inspecting the front. "I've never had one of these before."

"You should wear it when we go out later." Alex said innocently.

Robert narrowed his eyes at him, "What's wrong with it?"

He answered his own question when he turned it around and his lips pursed but he didn't say he hated it. And, when they went out to their Christmas part the next night, he sighed and shrugged it on when Alex and Megan pleaded with him. No one kissed Robert's ass like they planned but, when Alex get drunk, he blew a raspberry against his stomach. And Robert swore he'd fucking burn the sweater.

Megan and Alex couldn't stop laughing.

They were being loud and disruptive but, then, Alex had always gravitated towards those kinds of people. He loved the ones with energy and happiness and he loved spreading it around when he'd had a little too much. So maybe he'd bumped into a few guys and girls and got them talking but that was what everyone did in the club.

Robert was the unlucky one following after them and apologising.

"They're assholes when they drink," Robert said, having tired of polite excuses ten minutes ago. "I'm so sorry about this."

"It's fine." The guy, who had far too many hands and a blurry, indistinct face, smiled. "My best friend gets messy like this all the time."

So, really, Alex and Megan thought they should be credited with setting Robert up with his first boyfriend. It was the best gift anyone had ever given him and Alex made sure to bring it up every birthday and Christmas. Sure, they might not have meant to do it but it'd happened and they were better gift givers than they'd thought if they could set something like that up.

Alex would swear that the sweater was a good idea, too, and he was sure that Robert used it with his boyfriend. But he'd never probed too deeply into that, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Whatever the case, the two of them would probably need a year to top that gift and they started planning quickly. Alex wasn't going to lose his title, after all.

We didn't have a secret Santa in my flat this year which was a disappointment and I fell too ill to go to the Christmas meal (but it was in a restaurant so I didn't mind so much. It might be because it's my last year at uni or the different mix of people. Whichever, I still made sure to buy myself presents. Haha