"Would it kill you to knock", I asked.
"Yep and I'm too handsome to die", he said casually.
"Modest to the end", I said shaking my head.
"What happened, Sam?" he asked concerned. I gave him the short version of the story then he asked questions and I answered them.
"Our fight is going to have to wait awhile but don't let your guard down", he warned.
"I won't", I said calmly.
"Why don't you want to see my brother?" he asked trying to sound casual.
"Because I can't love anymore", I said quietly.
"What?" he said confused.
"You heard me ten years ago when I left I lost everything trying to save her and I just can't love anymore I used to but not anymore I can't have my heart broken again I can't face him especially", I said sadly.
"Because he was the one you loved the most", he suggested. I nodded and he sighed, "you're pretty messed up Sam I'm not going to lie to you but when this is all over I still want you and I'm willing to fight".
"Looking forward to it", I smiled. He snorted and went over to the door and started to turn the handle.
"You know you used to say the stars held all the answers but have you ever looked to your heart", he said hesitantly.
"That was almost heartfelt", I said shocked.
"I know and I'm going to regret it later well see ya later and good luck", he said then left. I wished I could look to my heart for answers but it had been ripped apart so many times I couldn't make sense of it. I sat in the window seat and looked out at the stars. There was a knock on the door and I went over and answered it.
"S can I come in?" Ellen asked. I nodded and she walked in closing the door behind her.
"So you talked to Luke", she said awkwardly.
"Yeah he gave me a whole heartfelt speech too", I said puzzled.
"Sounds very unLuke like", she snorted.
"Tell me about it", I said shaking my head.
"Oliver misses you, you know", she said as well later after I'd told her everything, "everyone does".
"I know I just can't live a lie anymore nothing is fine and things aren't just going to fix themselves when and if Josie gets turned back the only solution is that I leave I can take the twins with me and you guys can move on with your lives", I explained.
"Yeah except we can't Sam we need you you're our center the last ten years have been like hell without you", she said shaking her head.
"You'll get over it you've got Lawrence it'll all work out better that way", I said brushing it off.
"I'm not talking about me what about Luke and what about Oliver he-", she started to say but I cut her off.
"He belongs with Josie that's the way it was meant to be nothing else makes sense so please Elle please don't make me face him I just can't", I begged.
"Okay I don't like it but I won't say anything and I'll make sure he stays away are you okay for now I could get Tucker to make you a snack", she asked.
"No I'm good", I said sincerely. I sat back on my bed and laid my head against the pillow and then the tears started. Everyone started going home as the days progressed and soon Luke was looking for Josie impatient for this to be over almost as inpatient as me. Ellen and Will stayed and Oliver of course but I refused to see him. One day Ellen and Will went out to lunch and he had to bring me my lunch.
"Here", he said handing it to me.
"Thanks", I said sadly putting it down on the little table I made.
"Sam I..." he said hurt.
"Listen Oliver I'm sorry but I can't do anymore", I said miserably.
"Do what?” he said confused.
“Have my heart broken again I just can't I can't love anymore it hurts too much I'm sorry you should go", I said looking at the ground.
"Sam", he said then he sighed,
"I won't bother you again I understand".
"Thank you", I said solemnly. He closed the door and I fell onto the bed and cried into the pillow. I ate my food then went into the bathroom and had a shower. I got out and wrapped a towel around myself and looked at myself in the mirror. My body was more relaxed now and my body was healing and my face was all cleared up except for that cat mark Josie gave me. I had evened out my hair and it was in a bob now. I put on some black track pants and a dark blue hoodie. I wasn't the beauty I once was but I looked better than before at least. I went to my bed and fell asleep right away. I suddenly smelled something smoke burning, FIRE!
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