Locker 17

Chapter 13

This is the question I wanted to avoid most.

"He had blonde hair and blue eyes. You'd think that I have a lot of tattoo's but nothing in comparison to him. He was older than me by 3 years, although he looked younger and I've always looked older than my actual age. Sam was supposed to graduate the day after he died. It was a big shock to everyone here and to me because he was never the suicidal type."

My eyes start to water but I try my best to keep them from tearing.

"You know why he killed himself don't you?"

I look up at Louis, his expression is of pity. I don't need anyone's pity.

"Yeah, it's such a stupid reason why he did it. His parents hate me to this day because of it. If I could go back and change things I would but there's no going back."

I wasn't just going to tell him the real reason why. How would I?

"You loved him?"

My head jerks back.

"No! Never."

I'm not lying. I did like him but not love, not him. There's more hate towards him than love. He was so stupid for doing what he did.

"You're lying."

Louis' eyes start to gloss again.

"I'm not!"

I sigh and speak again.

"I liked him, not loved. Yes I'm bisexual but no one knows that only my mum and you now."

I say it in a low voice almost inaudible but enough for Louis to hear me. The look on his face is indescribable. It's like he's scared but shocked.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

The bell rings and he stands up first. I stop him from leaving before anyone else does.

"I said I'm sorry ok."

"I heard you the first time Harry."

His eyes start to tear up. By the time they do everyone is gone and it's only me and him. Why is he even crying? That's when it hits me. I step back from him.

"The constant blushing, the reason you ran when I called out Sam's name, the reason why you're always early to school. It's all because of me isn't it? You- you like me?"

The shock in my face is easily read. He can't not him.

His eyes dart to the ground and his cheeks are wet. He doesn't answer.

"Is this what you do to every guy you meet? They try to become friends with you since you're over here looking like a lost puppy but only to start liking them and hope that you get some dick? Fuck no. Not me Louis. I know that I've known you since we were kids but this isn't going to happen. You might as well delete my number off your phone. Forget I ever even tried to be friends with you again. Get lost."

I lie. Everything is a lie. It hurts to see him cry because of me but what happened with Sam won't happen with Louis. I don't even know why I'm lashing out at him like this? I don't want him to get hurt.

He runs out the cafeteria, his cheeks are wet and red and his eyes are bloodshot. I don't follow. What the fuck did I do. He's going to eventually find out about Sam and he'll realize why I can't feel the same way. I sit back down on the table and pull on my hair.

....

*Louis' POV*

This is what happens for asking about Sam. I didn't even know I liked Harry but now I do. If I didn't then I wouldn't have felt a stab in my heart back there. I should've just kept my mouth shut. Fucking hell.

I stand alone in the school's restroom in front of the mirror. I splash my face with water and stand over the sink. I'm not going back to class not like this.

I start to walk to the library, maybe that will clear up my mind. I take a seat on the empty table next to the window. It's quiet until I hear Marie behind me.

"Louis?"

I turn back and it is her.

"Hey."

I whisper, trying not to piss off the librarian.

"I want to show you something."

"What?"

She hands me an old year book and opens it to the class of 2010.

"Today when I saw you talking to Harry it brought back memories."

"Memories?"

"When Sam was alive and Harry was friends with him. The last time we saw him smile it was with Sam. That same smile was back again. Then it hit me. You and Sam are so much alike."

"What are you talking about?"

I'm beyond confused at this point but the fact she's comparing me to Sam, the one Harry use to 'like', to me is overwhelming.

"Here, take a look."

She points to a picture in the yearbook. It's the rugby team. Harry is in it. My eyes widen when I see the person who is standing next to him in the picture.

"Is that Sam?"

She nods her head when I point my finger to where Sam is at and smiles. This is why
Harry lashed out at me. It all makes sense.

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