Dear Nate {Dear #1}

-Chapter 5-

            Mitch and Pat walked over about five minutes later, leaving us talking about the game tomorrow. After lunch we made our separate ways to sixth period. During the last two classes I just sat there, just wanting to go home. I’m nervous about telling Scott about Alison, but I need to trust him—I should trust him.

            As I walk to my car I hear Josh call my name. I turn around and see him trying to catch up. “Hey,” I say, squinting my eyes because the sun is shining right into them. “Is everything alright?”

            He nods and readjusts his strap on his shoulder. “Um, were you at the hospital Friday?”

            Great, I groan internally. We walk toward my car as I try to not look guilty. “Why would you think that?” I ask, trying to play it cool.

            “The nurse mentioned a friend of Alison’s that stopped by. I didn’t know Alison had any guy friends so I asked the nurse what he looked like and well, she described you to a T.”

            “Alright, I visited Alison. So what?”

            Josh shot me a glare before saying, “I’m just shocked. Don’t take it to offense Nate. Hopefully Alison was listening because if she was you probably made her day.”

            “She’s in a coma Josh,” I say soberly. “I doubt she heard me.”

            “It’s said people in comas may hear what people say. They just can’t do anything about it.”

            I shrug, “Cool—I guess.”

            Josh huffs in annoyance. “Stop with this I don’t give a shit demeanor okay! My sister is in a damn coma. I wish I can take away her pain and just wake her up, but I can’t! It kills me knowing my older sister is stuck in the hospital the rest of her senior year. Alison may be quiet, but she’s just like any other girl. She already bought her prom dress even though she may not have a date, she still had hope. She couldn’t wait until graduation and going to college. Now—she may not experience any of it. I’m not even sure if she can go to college now if she wakes up. She’s too behind and will have to make up the time she lost.” He breathes in a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry. I just want her to wake up and it sucks.”

            I know it sucks. “I’m sorry,” I say, turning to face Josh once we walked up to my car. “I want Alison to wake up too, but we can’t do anything. Alison needs to fight and get through it. It sucks not being able to do anything to help.”

            “She’s my older sister. All her life she’s been looking out for me, but now it’s my turn to look out for her. So, if you’re just visiting her for pity please stop. I don’t want her remembering—if she does remember—you visiting her just to figure out you didn’t really care in the first place.”

            “She’s a nice girl,” I start off. “I’ve been reading her journal and she thinks she’s been invisible to people—me in particular. I guess what I’m trying to say is Alison and I may have talked a couple of times, but now I’m realizing how she has affected my day—in a good way. I—just—miss seeing her around.”

            “Tell me about it,” Josh sighs, looking around the parking lot. “Listen, if you need to talk about Alison or something text me,” Josh holds out I ripped, crumpled piece of notebook paper.

            I take the piece of paper with his number on it and smile softly. “Thanks Josh. Um, I was thinking about visiting Alison after my game tomorrow around eight. Is that alright with you? Will your family still be there?”

            “No, I’ll make sure they aren’t.”

            I nod, “Thanks. Um, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Bye,” Josh says, walking to where his friends stand waiting for him.

♣

            “So, what did you need to tell me,” Scott says, sprawled out on my floor with his textbooks open as he did homework.

            I put my pen down and said, “Um, it’s about Alison Collins.”

            “What about her?”

            I tap my pen against my notebook as Scott waits for my answer. “After her accident, her brother came to me. Josh said how Alison liked me and that I should read her journal. So, I have been, and it makes me realize how I miss seeing her at school and, well, healthy. It sucks and all I want is to help her, but I can’t.”

            “So, you like her?” Scott asks a little hesitantly.

            “I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’ve never had a girlfriend, you know that, but I’ve never felt this way before either. I wish I would’ve talked to Alison more because she may never wake up for me to tell her that I do know who she is and she wasn’t invisible to me.” I place my face in my hands. “The worst part is the waiting; waiting to see if Alison will wake up and when.”

            “You visited her?”

            I nod, “Yeah, I felt it was right. I didn’t want to just read her personal thoughts, it felt wrong. I’m also visiting her tomorrow after the game.”

            “You really like her don’t you?”

            I shrug, “I don’t know Scott.”

            “It’s clear you do. With me, I knew I liked Eliza because I always wanted to spend time with her and see her. To me, it seems like that’s how it is with you. It’s nice seeing you actually like a girl. Too bad she’s—,” I shot Scott a look and he shut up, rethinking his words. “Just don’t give up on her.”

            “What if she never gets out of the coma? What am I supposed to do then?”           

            “Move on,” he answered. “Don’t think about that now. You’re staying here for community college so if she does wake up, you’ll still be here.”

            At the time of choosing a college I couldn’t set my mind to anything. With my dad gone and my mom working to try and keep us afloat, I decided to just go to community college. Couch was a little upset because he saw me going far in my baseball career, but I’m not sure if I even want to do baseball in college. There is supposed to be a scout coming out tomorrow for the game so I’ll see how it goes.

            “You know,” Scott says, bringing me out of my thoughts. “I kind of suspected that Alison had a crush on you.”

            I look up in shock. “And you didn’t tell me?”

            He shrugs, “I didn’t want to put her on the spot. She’s a shy girl. Whenever you would hold the door for her or just smile at her in the hallway; her face would light up like a damn Christmas tree. I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

            “I’m a guy! We’re oblivious to that stuff!”

            “Hey, don’t yell at me. Maybe you should’ve opened your eyes more.”

            I groan and fall back on my bed. My best friend knew she liked me and didn’t say anything. I’m not mad at him, but he should’ve told me.

            “Nate?” my mom asks when she knocks on my door.

            “Yeah,” I respond, leaning up on my elbows.

            She opens the door and asks, “Is Scott staying for dinner?”

            Scott smiles, “You know it. Thanks!”

            Mom chuckles at Scott before shutting my bedroom door.

            “It’s alright man. Just hang in there,” Scott says before getting to his feet and walking out to get dinner.