Friends With Benefits (COMPLETED)

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS *4*

"So, how are things with Jasmine?" she asked without looking at me.

I swallowed and looked away, hating this particular subject. Jasmine and I had started dating in middle school. Unfortunately, it had ended before it had even begun. Then, to everyone's surprise and mine, she had come out of nowhere and asked me out junior year in high school. With everyone else in our business, the only appropriate thing to do was to accept. She was on the cheerleading team, it was expected and I didn't over analyze it. I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

She went on to cheat on me, several times. As if that wasn't bad enough, she also developed a nasty habit of lying to me. We had both decided to go our separate ways, well, I decided and made it a point that she accept it as well. She didn't like it, though, and Jasmine was used to getting what she wanted.

"Nothing. We're fine." I said, and this time I was the one who looked away.

I respected Paige and she was my closest friend, but there were some things I didn't want to share with her. I felt an odd sense of protectiveness come over me when it came to the others at the school and Paige, especially the girls. Not that I underestimated her ability to handle herself, but I knew she held herself back. There was an innocence to it, almost, and I didn't want to tarnish that by telling her what some of those girls were capable of. She was better than that, better than them.

We dropped the subject and continued walking the rest of way in silence.

............................................................................

(Paige)

He was doing it again.

The same old, annoying thing he did sometimes. He was holding back and it was beginning to get under my nerves, I could barely keep from clenching my teeth out of frustration. Nate had always acknowledged me as his best friend, but when it came to sharing his life with me, and his secrets, he would shut down. Every time I brought up Jasmine, he would find a way to change the subject.

Things were not fine with him and Jasmine. Anyone could see that, and I definitely couldn't miss it. Taking a deep breath, I let the subject drop, since he clearly didn't have any desire to share with me. We got to school and just as expected, Nate headed the other way as soon as he saw his friends wave at him. Normally, he would stop to say goodbye but today he didn't even bother with that.

I took my books out of my locker and was closing it when someone shoved me from behind, causing me to hit the metal surface hard. I dropped my books and turned around to see who was responsible. A couple of seniors stopped before me, two of them laughing at me and whispering to each other.

I sighed and picked up my books. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. I always lost the courage to say anything during moments like this. Somehow my mouth would go dry and my heart would start beating fast, and I wasn't able to tell if it was fear or cowardice that kept me from reacting in any other way than I did. I knew silence wasn't going to help me, but telling Nate wasn't the answer either. He would get angry, as he always did. And in his absence, they would torture me again.

My parents always told me I was a shy and introverted child, but as I grew it somehow only got worse. Around Nate, I was myself, but otherwise, I had a tendency to freeze up. I shook my thoughts away and gathered my books closer to my chest. During most of my first period class, I felt extremely sorry for myself. It didn't help much that we were to choose partners for our final assignment.

As usual, I looked around for someone and not one person returned my glance. Everyone was picking partners while I just sat there feeling like the room was growing larger by the second, pushing me into a corner by myself.

I felt my eyes water and asked to be excused. Fortunately, as I pushed open the girls' bathroom door, I noticed that no one else was in there. So I closed the stall and cried my heart out. When did things get like this, I wondered in despair. I had no friends. Never had. But as of late, the loneliness was getting worse. At times I desperately wanted for more, uncertain of what exactly, but some type of connection to another being. It sucked being so isolated all the time.

I supposed that's when my feelings had started to change. Nate. He was all I had. When times got tough at home, he was the one I could rely on. But he didn't know how it was. He didn't know I was a complete loner. I never told him it was so hard to make friends, I don't even think he knows what I do or who I talk to when he's not there. Deep down, I had always felt stupid because I had no one, and didn't want to lose him as well.

Right now, I felt the worst. Having romantic thoughts about your best friend was one thing, him finding out and throwing you out of his life was quite another.

Someone knocked on my stall and I quickly sat up, almost falling off the toilet seat. I quickly swiped at my face, trying to wipe away the tears before moving closer to the door.

"W-who is it?" I asked.

"It's me, open up."

For a second, I think I forgot how to breathe. Out of all the people I could have expected to be on the other side of that door, THIS was the absolute last.

-end of chapter- 

© Anu Singh (LuvErChiicK), 2018. All rights reserved.