Spaces in between (Stockholm Syndrome: Extended chapters)

July 2020(2)

~Archer~

"You can sleep on my lap"

I tried to suppress my yawn but couldn't quite do it.

"I am sure that's not comfortable", I said to my husband, declining his offer.

"I can stop and you can climb onto the backseat", he suggested. He looked genuinely concerned.

We had left Malibu late in the evening. The weekend was over. It was time to get back to our daily lives. We both had work and Felix's was easier than mine. He was the boss, I had a boss. I was still interning at Mark and Co landscapes. I had started a week prior to the trip. I was still not used to a 9-5 job and unless I got some sleep I was going to be a wreck the next day.

I barely slept on the getaway. Felix always came up with something to do in the middle of the night. It was either something kinky or something totally outrageous.

"I'll be fine", I said.

"It's a long drive", he said.

"You won't stop talking until I sleep, will you?"

"I'm just trying to save us from your complaining tomorrow. You can get quite cranky", he said.

My eyes were tired but I rolled them anyway.

"If you hadn't insisted on sunbathing we'd be home by now", I said.

"And...you are cranky already", he said chuckling.

"I am not cranky. I am stating a fact", I said yawning.

"No you are not. The amount of time I spent sunbathing doesn't equate to the amount of time it takes to get to the apartment", he said.

"Shut up Felix"

He drove off the road and the car stopped moving.

"I still think the back is better. And I'll drive gently", he said.

"No, the front is better. There's a seatbelt I can use", I said.

He chuckled. "I've been driving for a while now. Was there any time you thought I wasn't doing it properly?"

"Yes. Start moving", I said.

He looked at me with a slight pout. He was about to say something when someone knocked on the driver side window. At first I thought it was the traffic cops, until I realized what they were knocking with. I saw the barrel before Felix.

"Open the window, now!" someone commanded.

Felix turned to the window and groaned. He lowered it slowly.

"Get out of the car!" the guy behind the gun said clearly.

I'd been in similar situations, but I felt my heart racing. It didn't matter what my experience was, the situation was new. It was happening right at that moment. We were in the middle of a hijacking. I hoped it was that at least.

Felix loved saying I was brave. My friends would say that too. I had my moments of bravery, and moments that could only be described as pure stubbornness. Maybe I was brave, but staring down the barrel of a presumably loaded gun was shit scary. For some the fear lasted seconds and for some it lasted hours. For me, I couldn't tell how long it was going to last yet.

I just knew I was scared. Someone had the potential to inflict harm on me and my husband. He had only to pull the trigger. Maybe the bullet would kill me and maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would leave me paralyzed or a widower.

Maybe he would just take the car and leave us both there.

My mind knew all those possibilities, but that information was useless. It didn't matter that I could survive. My mind was focused on those seconds of uncertainty, those seconds of knowing that the man had only to pull the trigger and my life would vanish.

Would he pull the trigger?

My past experience was different. The situations had not been that acute. Being kidnapped by Felix had been scary initially, but it wore off when I realized he didn't seem to be in a hurry to kill me. Being kidnapped by the Vasiliev brothers had only turned scary when I realized Felix was going to do what they hired him to. Then I knew they wouldn't kill me. I was their insurance, the only thing that would make Felix kill a 5 year old.

My hands grabbed the seat. They were beginning to sweat.

"I'd love to indulge you, but I have somewhere to be", Felix said.

He looked at me and gave me a little smile. He was asking me to trust him and I was a little shaken to register it.

"Get the fuck out of the car or I'll blow your brains out", the guy warned.

I couldn't see him properly. It was dark and he was wearing a beanie and dark clothes. I thought he was the only one until I heard footsteps on my side before someone knocked on the window and demanded that I open.

Felix put his hands up. "Okay okay. I'll indulge you".

He turned to me. "Stay", he mouthed.

I watched as he opened his door slightly. The guy outside took the opportunity to open it wider. My heart raced faster. Felix was out there with the guy. I was getting more and more agitated and admittedly scared. Things had been going so well and now had taken an unexpected turn. I took a peek outside, ignoring the instructions shouted at me by the guy on my side.

I couldn't see what happened but I heard a gunshot. My heart stopped. I knew the guy had a gun. The last time I had seen it, it had been in his hands. I wanted to know more about the gunshot but I couldn't get myself to look further than I was looking. If Felix was shot...I couldn't handle it. Flashes of the night he got stabbed hit me from nowhere.

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To be continued...