Spaces in between (Stockholm Syndrome: Extended chapters)

March 2023

~Archer~

The sound of my heart beating clouded my senses for a moment. In that instance, I wasn't aware of anything, but my heart thumping as if it would burst out of my body at any moment. All was quiet except the lub dub of a heart receiving massive sympathetic stimulation.

And then I heard it, the sound of my daughter crying. She couldn't possibly know what was going on, but somehow she knew something was wrong. They said babies could tell when their parents were in distress. Could she hear my heartbeat?

"Make her shut up or I'll blow her tiny brains out!"

The massive sympathetic stimulation had increased my sweat production, making my hands hot and clammy. They left their place on the leather seat I was perched on and reached over next to me. I picked Marie into my arms and sat her on my lap, comforting her. It was hard calming her down when I couldn't calm myself down.

I reached over into the baby bag on the floor.

"What are you doing?! Hands where I can see them!" a rough voice said.

"I'm just getting her a pacifier", I said with my voice trembling slightly. "If you don't want her screaming all the way, I need to get her pacifier", I said, a little confident this time.

"Okay okay. But don't try anything heroic. I am not afraid to die as long as you die with me", the man said.

One hour & 30 minutes earlier

"Are you sure you guys will be fine getting to the doctor without me?"

"Felix, we'll be fine. This is not the first time I take a cab".

"This is the first time you take a cab with my almost-one year old daughter".

"It will be a good experience for her. She'll probably get into more cabs in the future to get away from you".

It was just a little over 11 pm. Felix and I were in our house, discussing plans for the day. Marie –soon to be a year old – had an appointment with the doctor for her 12 month check-up and to get her vaccinations. Felix wanted to be there, not that it was necessary for him to. Unfortunately, he had a meeting at the gallery, which would end at approximately the same time as Marie's appointment. That meant he couldn't drive us to the hospital, but he promised to be there.

Although Marie was well-behaved and didn't throw many tantrums, I couldn't drive us to the hospital either. I had sprained my ankle just a few days earlier while chasing Felix. My ankle was healing properly, but I couldn't yet drive even though I was now able to walk on it. Felix would have a fit if I even suggested it.

At that moment we were in the kitchen. I was making Marie's bottle and Felix was on the other side of the counter, going through some documents.

"Why on earth would she get away from me?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Um...you'll only allow her to date when she's 25?"

"Which is a reasonable age", he protested.

"So...why didn't you wait until I turned 25?" I said, putting the bottle of milk I had just finished making into a small bowl with cold water.