XVII

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"Mom? Mom? Are you OK?" Gray asked, immediately at her side. Stevie tried to shake off her shock and looked over to Mick who mirrored her look of horror.


"Yes, I'm fine, Grayson. I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise. Why would you ask that?" she tried to say calmly.

"I kind of just put it together in my head, you know? You and Dad never talked about him. I mean, I know Auntie Christine and Uncle John, yet I don't know Lindsey. Then when I told him I knew who he was he got really weird and then relaxed when I said I recognized him and told him you didn't talk to him. He said you guys stopped talking when Lil was a baby. It was just kind of making sense and then there's the fact that me and Will and him look almost exactly alike. So is it true?" he asked so honestly and innocently that Stevie knew she couldn't lie to him.

"Yes. Lindsey's you and Lily's biological father." She said, looking over to Mick for some reassurance.

"Mom, you said that our real dad couldn't take care of us, but Lindsey already has other kids. Like our ages."

"I know sweetie. It's all very complicated, but when you and your sister came along, Lindsey already had a family. I'm not proud of my actions, but I'm so thankful that they led to you and Lily. You are my whole world." She smiled at him and was trying to make this as kid friendly as possible, but how do you tell your child that he was a product of an affair? Never planned to happen? There was no easy way.

"So, he didn't want us?" he asked, trying to mask his trembling voice and Stevie could see the tears welling in his eyes. Right then and there, Stevie knew that there was no way on this earth that she could tell her son the truth about this. She would rather die than have him hurt.

"No, Grayson. I want you to look at me right now. You were NEVER not wanted. Lindsey wanted you. He just didn't want to be with me all of the time and it was too painful. I told him I couldn't share you and that I wanted him to stay away." Stevie lied, knowing that he would be angry with her for this, but she would rather that than have him hurt because he knew the truth about Lindsey.

"Why would you do that Mom? How could you do that?" he asked incredulously and Stevie could feel the pain building in her chest.

"I'm sorry Grayson. I thought I was doing what was best. I couldn't imagine that sharing you with Lindsey and his wife would have gone well, her knowing that she was not your mother. I just thought it was best. Honey, when you're older you'll understand, I promise you will. But please just know that everything I did was because I love you. I love you so much Grayson. And Daddy loves you too."

"She's right son. I may not be your biological father, but you know I love you the same. You were my first son. It is the greatest pleasure of my life to be your father." Mick added, but Gray stayed silent.

"Gray?" Stevie pushed.

"I think, I think I just need to be alone right now." He said and walked quickly back into the house.

When he was out of sight, Stevie collapsed into Mick's arms, heartbroken that things had happened this way. He comforted her until she was ready to talk.

"Why did you lie, Stevie? He wouldn't be angry with us if you had told the truth." Mick asked.

"Maybe not, but he would have felt unwanted and badly about himself. I couldn't let my baby hurt like that Mick, I just couldn't." Stevie said resolutely and Mick kissed her head.

"Well, let's give him a bit of space and then I'll go talk to him, OK?" he asked and she silently agreed.

After they had the 3 youngest put to bed, Mick decided it was time to go talk to Grayson. He knocked on his door and got no answer. He knocked a few more times and finally let himself in. Grayson wasn't in his room and Mick found that odd, as he hadn't seen Grayson about the house, but set out to find him. When he had searched the last door downstairs he began to panic and went into the garage. Grayson's bike was gone. He ran into the house as quickly as he could, almost barreling Stevie over in the process.

"Fuck! Mick, what's this all about?" she asked, obviously annoyed.

"Stevie, Grayson's gone!" Mick exclaimed and sank to her knees immediately. She collected herself quickly and went over to the phone and dialing. She waited for a moment and as soon as she heard the greeting she spoke.

"Lindsey? We need your help."

     

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