two moons ❦ calum

❦ chapter nineteen ❦

Calum didn't even care about his car. he didn't even mind walking home in the cold February air because it gave  him peace to think. all he cared about was her. he would've shown up even if sex wasn't on the table, and an outlandish omen told him that they wouldn't get to that point either. more than anything, he just wanted to talk to her with no care towards the manner the conversation was in.

he wondered if that he was just reacting to all of this because he has a damsel in distress complex. he knew that he still loved her, despite what he said and how he acted. he wanted to know if this sudden need to be with her, talk to her, kiss her, touch her, was a direct response to all of the excitement of knowing just that she was close enough to do all of those things with. he knew that there was something going on with her that she just couldn't deal with, and although he was no doctor, he wanted to do whatever he could to get her to stop thinking about whatever it was and make her happy.

despite the circumstances, Calum was glad that she stole his car and he was left with only the echo of cars running down the amber lit streets in the distant city. it offered him more consolation than driving in the dark would have. he could have jogged home but with all of the work he put in during practice, he worked as much as he needed to and then some.

it took him half an hour to get to his neighborhood's entrance. he could see the mansions all down the road with their lights attached to the ends of their closed gates. the street that led him back home embodied light and warmth whereas the journey he traveled to get to this point was pitch black and foreboding. the decision to continue did not take long to conjure in his multitasking mind, which was mostly consumed with Flossy.

it was the trick of the light, he told himself as he looked in front of him. he could see the leaves on the trees just beginning to fall, just as he had for her. he could hear the sounds of the laughter of two people who were treading over the line between a friendship and relationship. he could feel his heart beating just as it had when her caramel eyes met his. he could taste the reminiscent kiss on his lips from the offspring of love and death: heart break. he could touch the image he so desperately wanted to recreate the first memory they created, but realized he was grasping something that didn't want to be held.

the silhouette of his companion evaporated and left him with his three month younger self. they looked at one another and noticed how blatantly they contrasted one another. the two parts of himself turned another corner and became aware of just how close their house was. as Calum gazed into those eyes that were alive with love, he made a decision that would precisely change everything in the course of the rest of his life.

"I don't care," Calum said as the shadow began to find its way home to the darkness. "I don't care!" his voice was louder, but not enough that anyone besides himself could hear. "I don't care about what's in the way. I will show her how loved she is by me. I can't keep this quiet anymore, she needs to know."

Flossy was an opinionated person, Calum knew that. she would not have wanted him to say that he would do anything to get her back into his possession, or that no one would stand in the way of  the two of them. she remarked how possessive and selfish serial killers sounded when they said those kind of monologues to their obsession, and she vowed not to be just that. she would not be something briefly lusted after, but instead something to be admired for centuries. he knew that he only needed to implore her that he could admire her like the epitome of art that she was and ultimately have her decide if she wanted him to do just that until she deemed it was enough.

Calum finally walked up the extensive steps to his house and took off his shoes. he was awaiting not a single welcome from any of his family members, but instead was met with a blazing look from his mother and a smack on the back of the neck from a magazine that she had found.