Hope's Lost (51st Hunger Games)

Chapter 4- Or Give me Death!

       Waiting, I heard the click of the door as someone entered. It was my father, dressed same as before, but now having his… beard shaven off? Without the long beard he looked so much younger than I had anticipated. I wanted to rub my eyes and blink a few more times to ensure this wasn’t some kind of trick. He approached me, frowning. “Why did you do it?” He asked, not making any eye contact whatsoever. All too obvious that he was displeased. “I wanted to protect my friends. You always talk about honor and pride so I believed that keeping them alive would be honorable enough.” I felt smart and well-worded after that.

       “What did they do to you?” I asked, changing the subject. He stayed silent and left the room. I wanted to cry at the fact that those displeased, words could be the last words I would ever hear from my father. I had to stay strong. Honor, honor, honor. Pride, pride, pride. These were the things that created me and bound me to this earth. This is what I was meant for. Next entered a shaken Grafa Stein with mud dripping off her from head to toe. The Peacekeepers had taken her restraints off just so she could see me.

       After closing the door in a gentle, uncharacteristic manner she walked towards me and emotionless, slapped me straight across my sorry face. “Why did you do that, you idiot!” She screamed, mimicking my father’s same question from before. Everyone so far seemed so surprised at the fact I was going to the Hunger Games… Even more surprised than I was. My urge to cry was immediately strengthened when I saw the meanest, strongest person I knew burst into tears. She gripped and twisted my clothing tightly as she pulled me into a hug, crying on my shoulder. “I was meant to go.” She whispered, and then shouting, “I WAS MEANT TO GO!” Her scream echoed throughout the room.

        “I was supposed to die, not you.” She choked out through her sobs. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her in the hope not to provoke her more. It didn’t. The gesture in which I had returned was graciously accepted by Grafa who in turn, hugged me tighter. Time was up and she had to leave me. The next person would be coming in to see me off. I waited patiently, trying to forget my last encounter by not paying attention to the brown stains Grafa left on my green dress.

      Next came Terra. Terra was in the highest class of the District Four society. The Highs. It baffled me that she was so strong and yet lived the life of a queen compared to me. Her beautiful dress was tight on her huge frame. She was already crying. It was like watching a big baby because of her wide figure and her towering height. Her giant droplets of tears fell on me and soaked my hair and dress even further. It was like a never-ending rain of tears…

       But there is no use. Because when you know you are going to lose someone you love, there is no way you can cry enough. I closed my eyes as one of Terra’s huge tears rolled down the contours my face. I smiled at her. Now the happiest person I knew was crying. The one that was completely ignorant to pain and sadness. It was a huge contrast to Grafa, who seemed to feel nothing but pain in her life. I promised myself I would be devoid of any emotion, but Terra sent a spark of confidence through me. I kept a cheerful grin as though to tell her that it would all be alright and to stop crying.

      I wondered how many tears were spilled during the Hunger Games. How many were wasted and how few were in the joy of one returning member in which they loved. If this was a never-ending process, then why keep it going? The water in which came from our sorrowful eyes fertilized the earth and laid the groundwork for the Capitol’s greatest achievement. So then I would not cry. I would show them that I was strong and that I would not support this anymore.

     Terra gave me a confused look as she finally halted her crying, tears still flowing from her wide eyes. “You know Terra; you should really stop being such a crybaby.” I sounded like Grafa in my taunting her. Terra’s eyes widened to an extent where I believed they would roll out of her head. “Now go. I’ll be fine.” With my responses to each person it seemed I was sending mixed messages, but I knew what I wanted right then.

     Leaving, I awaited Randal to enter. Randal simply walked in and embraced me. “Thank you for saving her.” Wrapped around in safe, strong, warm arms I muffled a reply. “It was nothing.” He released me, taken aback. This was my life we were talking about. This was me putting my life on the line for the young woman it was obvious he loved so much. “I can’t thank you enough.” Randal said, narrowing his eyes as he looked away from me. “There is nothing to thank me for.” I said in a cocky voice. “I know how much you care for Grafa, and I’m not getting in the way of that.”

     It was obvious Randal wanted to smile at the rumored romance in which he and Grafa shared, but this was about me and Randal hated that I was deliberately changing the subject to the girl whose life I had saved in place of my own. He kept a steady frown, unbroken by the thoughts of his lover. “Please Randal. Don’t cry. I’ve seen enough tears today and I’m tired of them.” I hugged him and led him out to leave, suddenly wanting to leave myself.