Distractions [completed]

Part 12: "I'm most likely going to cry myself to sleep."

"I'm a girl who lost both her parents, so I know how you feel about loosing your mom. The best advice I can give you is to go home. Go home and spend time with her while you can before it's too late. You're dad will be there for you, you two get to go through this together. You'll have two people to be with you through each step. Me and your dad. Tell your dad what you just told me, about how you feel. He'll understand it better because he's going through it too."

Within a flash second, Kesten's hugging me, me in his arms yet again but the emotional roles are switched.

"Thank you." He whispers. We break away from each other "I'll go home if you do. Take another aspirin and a bottle of water with you, I'll drive y-"

-Actually I need some fresh air, so I'll walk. It's not that far of a walk anyways." I smile "Emotions are so tiring, don't you think?" I laugh

"Totally. I'm gonna stop calling you bitch. I'll just search funny nicknames on the internet and start calling you one of those." I laugh again

"I'm still calling you asshole."

"Of course." He laughs. "You wouldn't be you with calling me that." He smiles.

"Oh. All this emotional crap changes nothing." I tell him

"Of course."

"So... I'm gonna go." I say pointing towards Mark's apartment door turning to leave.

Just as I opened the door I hear Kesten tell me bye and close the door and begin to walk home.

It's actually really weird having someone besides Rae and Soph to talk to about things. He knows though. He found me. He could smell it. He probably found evidence of what I was doing to. I just hope he won't tell anyone including Soph. She'll have my head on a stick if she found out.

Also, I'm a shit best friend. I know I'm probably making an excuse but, I have my own way with dealing with my stress. If they found out they would want to get me help... that I don't want.

I am determined. For her. I don't want to be an asshole of a best friend so I'm gonna quit. It may be a possibility that I'll be happier if I stop the drinking and smoking.

*

Opening the door very quietly and peeking through the tiny crack I created, I see Rae, Sabrina, Jay, Soph of course, Marco, Miles, and a bruised faced Jeremy. Maybe Kesten should stick to calling me bitch, because I am one.

Tired of straining my back I finally open the door completely. With a single creak on the floor from me putting one foot on the inside of our house, questions are already being fired at me I can barely hear anyone.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Where were you, are you okay?"

"We've been waiting for you forever." Glad to know Sabrina's happy to see me

"Do you know what could've happened to you!?"

"My nose really hurts. Are you okay?"

"What the hell even happened?!"

Sigh "Guys! I'm fine I was with Kesten at his brother's apartment, I just needed space and air."

The one person who didn't ask a question is glaring at me with relief in her eyes. Before I could figure out if she was pissed at me, she runs into my arms hugging me (I opened them because I knew this was coming.)

"I'm so sorry. I'm an awful friend, I won't be mad if you want to disown me as your best friend." I mumble into Rae's shoulder starting to cry.

"It's fine. I'll never disown you, I love you too much to get rid of you. I just wish you would've at least called me for gosh sakes." She mumbles into my should hitting the back of my head at the end of her sentence