Addiction ( a frerard fanfiction )

Chapter 25

Frank froze, his eyes were wide opened, he stepped back about three seconds later, looking at Gerard in the eye.

He was... confused.

He didn't know what to say, or what to do, or what to think, he didn't understand why Gerard did that.

As Gerard saw the look on Frank's face, his own gaze changed, as if he had suddenly realized what he had done.

"Oh fuck. Oh shit, I'm sorry." he said while walking away

He sat on the bed and looked away, he seemed really embarrassed "It was...I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have...it was a mistake, I'm sorry"

Somehow, Frank felt hurt by his words. A mistake. It wasn't the way he saw it -even thought he didn't really know what to think about it, it was just...weird, and unexpected. It hadn't been unpleasant, but Frank was just really confused.

He was still facing the door, looking down, he didn't dare to turn around and face Gerard.

He suddenly broke the silence as the words escaped his mouth

"I never kissed a boy before"

Gerard looked at him, he couldn't see Frank's face. He shook his head and began to laugh nervously "Of course. I'm so stupid, I should have know you weren't gay."

Frank bit his lips as he felt confusion overwhelm him. He didn't answer. He was no longer sure of anything anymore, he never considered the possibility of being gay, or at least, he always avoided to think about it, but now that he was thinking about it, about Gerard, about how he felt in his presence, about how he felt when he left... about the weird feeling he felt in his stomach, sometimes, when Gerard was talking to him with asmirk on his face, about how intriguing and actually...pretty Gerard was, the things were beginning to slowly make sense, and the first thing Frank felt, besides confusion, was fear

He had been pushing away the thoughts for so long, since he met Gerard, but at this moment, he couldn't keep ignoring them.

He had never met someone like Gerard before, and he had never felt like this, and especially not for a guy

The idea of maybe being gay, or bi, or whatever he was, was so weird to him. He wasn't ashamed or anything, but he had simply never really considered it before, not seriously. He wasn't sure about it thought, he needed to know, even if his heart was racing, and that he was low-key terrified of this whole new...thing.

Frank decided to man up and to be brave, for once. He took a deep breath and turned around, he walked towards Gerard and stopped in front of him, still biting his lip. Gerard looked at him, he opened his mouth to say something, but Frank cut him off

"Kiss me again" 

he asked, with a confident voice, even thought he was far from being confident, he was everything but confident and he honestly didn't know what he was doing, but he was doing...something.

Gerard frowned, his face turned even paler than usual "W-What ?" he replied, he looked even more confused than Frank.

Frank sighed and looked away. He knew Gerard had understood very clearly, but his big hazel eyes were locked with his, waiting for some sort of explanation, so Frank licked his lips and replied " I think... I think I might be...you know...gay?"

Wow, it felt reallyweird to say it out loud , he thought to himself

It felt weird to him, but at the same time, Frank felt relieved, as if something suddenly clicked inside of him, like an old piece of puzzle which was finally put back where it belonged, it seemed almost natural, and as he said it, he felt himself smile a little, but tried to keep a straightface.

"I need to check if I feel something" he explained. Indeed, Gerard's kiss was way too short, and Frank was so shocked that he didn't had the time to feel anything. Besides, he didn't even kiss him back.

Gerard was silent, not knowing what to say, he was looking at Frank, confused, and Frank could tell that his heart was beating fast too. Gerard finally answered after what felt like a decade

"Okay"

He slowly stood up, facing Frank, they were close, really close, and Frank felt a rush through his body, he was paralyzed, but he wouldn't have move anyway

For a few seconds, they just looked at each other, and they both blushed.

Finally, Gerard took Frank's face in his hand and softly brushed his cheek. Frank closed his eyes at the touch and tried to relax, but his blood was pumping even faster in his veins. From the outside, he seemed calm and under control, but from the inside, oh no, he was a complete mess.

Gerard approached his face from Frank's in an agonizingly-slow gesture, Frank could feel the tension grow between them, and the older boy's breath on his skin. He finally felt Gerard's lips, lightly brushing his, and Gerard put his free hand on Frank's back as he pressed his lips on Frank's in a soft kiss. After a few seconds of internal fight, Frank gave up, and finally kissed him back, slightly opening his mouth and closing it again on Gerard's bottom lip. He felt a shiver running down his spine, and as Gerard's hand moved up to gently brush his hair, it was now his whole body which was shivering. Frank hesitated before placing his arms around Gerard's neck, and the oldest boy pulled him closer, closing the gap between their bodies and deepened the kiss, their lips were moving softly together, and Frank felt lightheaded, and just so good

At this moment, he didn'tcare if Gerard was a guy, or if he had only known him for a few weeks, or what other people were going to think or say, because it didn't matter. What did matter, was that they were kissing, alone in this empty room filled by the sound of their breath, with their shaky fingers running through the fabric of their clothes and their heart beating way too faster.

And the world could scream "this is wrong", Frank would just give them the finger, because you know what ? It felt so. fucking. right.