She Follows the Birds to Freedom

I Don't Know How You Managed It

I don't know how you've managed to do it,
How after all these years the feeling remains,
You are not even here anymore
and I am still reeling from feeling two feet tall in your presence.
How do you make your words so effective?
If I had half the skill in convincing others
of how inferior they are to you,
I wouldn't waste it on what you do,
I'd tell them they were awesome.
And I'd mean it.
It was years ago,
those words accompanied by a look that shattered me,
and i still have scars from the encounters.
Still feel like I have amounted
to nothing worth much,
and no matter how many times
I tell myself that,
no matter how many times
they tell me otherwise,
your words are the ones that have the power to completely capsize
every opposing compliment.
It seems like the nice words cannot make a dent in the damage you've wrought.
And here I thought I didn't care.
How do you hold so much power over me in your absence?
I will probably never see you again,
and yet I will never forget that
you make me feel like I'm back in middle school everyday.
Those words, those looks,
those metaphorical right hooks that you'd slam me with everyday of fifth grade year,
those bruises never did heal,
and I don't know how to undo
the damage you've caused.
Sometimes I wonder if you knew what
your words would do to me,
if you would have said them.
I'd like to think that you would have refrained. It would mean that you didn't
really mean what you say,
But I'll never know.
But if you ever read this
just know that your words have power
to affect a person for the rest of their lives,
so use them wisely.
SK