The Things I Notice

Through Smaller Eyes

Mommy, why are you crying?

Just last week you said you were happy to be blessed with me

Big smiles and tiny jumps of joy

You told your touchy feely friends that you hoped I would be a girl

Even bought me a fluffy pink blankie to keep me warm

So why the sudden change of heart?

Mommy, why are your hands shaking?

Maybe you could use the blankie you bought to keep your frail hands warm

I don't understand!

Everyone else seems so excited to finally see me but you

Even if my hands were just created

I would hold yours until they stopped shaking

And maybe you'd feel a little bit more loved

Mommy, where is my daddy?

I heard you calling his name last night

Maybe he just couldn't hear you, or he was in the other room

The only person I've come to love is you, but I can't help wanting to love him too

I wonder if I'll look like him, or if I'll be funny like him liked you hoped long ago

Was it something I did to make him leave us?

I promise I'll be good when I finally come out to meet you both

Mommy, why do you feel so weak?

You stopped eating in the morning and at night time

I miss the yummy food you use to share with me

And I can feel it when you fall over and get dizzy

You're not the only one who's tummy hurts when you don't eat all day

I'm sorry I keep kicking you

I just thought that if I reminded you that I was still here, you would let me eat the food we use to enjoy together

Mommy, aren't you sleeping anymore?

Laying in bed with sad music playing in your ears keeps us both up

It's warm in here, but you shiver in our big bed all alone

You keep the TV on so you don't fall asleep and have bad dreams

Sometimes you turn the volume down and try to listen to me

If you could here me, I'd tell you to lay down and take a rest

But even when you do sleep, you still look so tired

Mommy, why did you hurt us?

Cutting the soft, thin skin that helped create me

Each time you do it, it's hurting me too

If you can't love yourself, how can you love me?

We may be two different people, but I can feel your pain

I really hope you can stop before I meet you

Seeing scratches on your arms is gonna make me sad, when I want to be happy around you

Mommy, why are you eating so much candy?

Taking them by the handfuls and swallowing sour tasting juice along with it

All the different colors make me feel really funny

I can't even feel my tiny toes and fingers

Are you sure they're going to make you happy like you whispered last night?

They make you get sick and throw away all the things you fed me earlier

I don't like them that much

Mommy, where are you taking me?

I don't remember this road we're going down

Your driving really fast, it's scaring me

I just heard a voice say that we're at the doctor's office

Are they going to make you feel better?

I hope so, I miss the way you would talk to me

Maybe he can fix you in a way I can't

Mommy, why don't you love me?

What are these doctors doing to you?

Something cold and hard is starting to touch me and I can't get away from it

I think they're trying to take me out of you

Please make it stop

I'm getting really tired and I cant feel your heart beat anymore

Why are these strange people taking me away?

Mommy, please help me!

-

Please, think of the life your child could have before you take away their right to live it.

-TaylorMarie