Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

Folkin' Around

Something has been bothering me.

I don't understand why everything I adore
Takes a different form when I squint my eyes
Have you ever done that?
When you squint your eyes
And your eyelashes make it look a little not right
And then with just enough light
Comes from just the right side
And you find you're not who you're supposed to be?

When you squint, you're in between what's under your eyelids and the real world. You're half in your thoughts and half looking at something real and physical.

This is the most terrifying thing that can ever occur.

My brain hates me, it really does, and it's horrible to deal with the nightmares and the things that I see playing on the insides of my eyelids like a TV screen.

Though I've had a few close scrapes, I've stayed alive. I'm dealing with it.

Staying awake, keeping your eyes open, is when you don't see that. It's just rational thought and reflected light. It's something you can touch and feel with your hands and smell and hear and it makes sense.

But really think about this:

Is that reality?

Is reality just what we can see and touch and taste and hear and smell?

What if part of reality was in our own heads?

Those dark nightmares and lurking voices, they'd be real.

Every doubtful voice, every suicidal thought, every self depleting prayer, they'd all be a part of reality.

Reality isn't what's mental or what's physical, it's in between.

It's the point where my thoughts just get to poisoning what is real.

When you squint, when you see your thoughts and physically what is there, when you see true reality, things are different.

Your eyelashes warp the image.

You realize that you aren't who you wanted or anyone else wanted, you aren't who society needs or who someone loves.

You realize you're not who you're supposed to be.