One True Bond (COMPLETE)

Ajay Devgn

I knew it was over the day she walked out the door. I've tried to fight for her, tried to make her see how sorry I am but Shah Rukh Khan stole her love away from me. I can't say I resent him for it, he was just the better person in all this. I know I've acted like a child, like a mad man trying to block the divorce but maybe that's because deep down I know it's inevitable. I open the door to Kajol's hospital room slowly. I checked with the nurses to see if she was asleep and luckily she is. She looks so peaceful. I can't believe how much I've blown everything out of proportion. People go through rough times in their marriages but ours just seemed to be like a typhoon ripping through our relationship. It was like each thing we said to one another made us so angry even if it was something nice. I'm happy for Kajol. She's always wanted to be a mother and I know she'll be great, it's just a shame I'm not going to be a father but that was my choice I ruined everything. I shuffle past her bed and place the signed divorce papers next to her with my note. I just want her to know how sorry I am for messing everything up. I smile at her and then notice the two plastic transparent cots lined against the wall on the other side of the room. I slowly make my way towards them and see two babies wrapped up in white cotton sheets their little eyes scrunched up and their tiny fists lying either side of their heads. They look so cute and perfect. I hold my finger out into one of the cots and feel the baby wrap his little fingers around my chunky one. Tears start to form in my eyes. This should be real, not a fantasy. They should be my 'little miracles' not Shah Rukh Khan's. I've got to get out of here before I do something stupid. Everything I want to say is in the note so I have no reason to stay here any longer than necessary. I retract my finger and stride out of the room careful not to wake Kajol or the babies. I'm about to turn left down the corridor when I see Shah Rukh coming through a set of double doors. I turn right instead not wanting to get into a brawl with him. He doesn't know what I've just done for him. I've torn my own heart out so Kajol didn't have to. I've sacrificed everything I love for him. Maybe I will love again but that won't be anytime soon, I miss Kajol too much. As I take the stairs instead of the lift I think about my note. I had tried so many times to write it and the last version seemed the best. It reads:

Kajol. I know I messed up. I guess I was just a bit of a mess to begin with. I regret everything I did to you out of anger. I should never have called you rubbish and I should never have made you feel inferior to me. When we got married we promised each other we'd love, honour and respect each other but the only one I seemed to be doing was loving you. Words cannot describe how sorry I am to have caused you so much heartache. I don't blame you for getting with Shah Rukh, he will treat you right even when he gets angry (unlike me). I know something happened between you two, you've always had a spark one that I could never compete with. I don't blame you, in fact I could never blame you for anything because in my eyes you are perfect-I just didn't say it often enough. I just want you to always know that there will always be a special place in my heart for you. You're my first love and that'll never change. I don't want to prolong your pain any longer so I signed the papers to give you a better life. I know Shah Rukh will treat you like I should have.

I love you Kajol. Ajay x

When I get into my car I breathe a sigh of relief. This bit is over, now I just have to try and move on with my life. I know it's going to be hard. Kajol has been my world for so long but I know I can find the strength to do it.