Emotional

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The collars they're wearing in the picture will be mentioned ;)


LAUREN POV

- I though you said you threw it away - My voice was sharp, even rude. I rather have her think I'm mad than her finding out how bad a wanna kiss her right now.

- You know I didn't - Camila said looking down at her hands playing with the sun pendant I got her a couple years ago - I just said it because I didn't want you to know how much I actually care about you.

- And what changed now? - I was still with my arms closed, face unreadable and my eyes focused on hers even though she wouldn't meet them.

She knows exactly how to get to me, how to make my wall fall down as if it was never even there to begin with, and it makes me wanna smack her with a hammer because of it. I've worked my ass off to get over Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, and I did it for her. She asked for it... she wanted this.

- I don't know - She starts rubbing her thumbs again. Fuck it, I just can't.

I sit up and reach of her hands, or try to, because the ceiling is so low that I sort of have to crawl may way to her. For once she looks up and I can see her eyes are a bit red, holding back the tears.

- Don't.

- I just thought I could... just... say sorry - She says -. And we could start over.

- Camz - Damn her, I can't be cold and non-sensitive around her. I let out a much needed sigh -, I've waited so long for you to say that.

- Really? - Her hopeful eyes break my heart.

- Let me finish. I've waited so long, Camila. I cried for months, and you witnessed it. The only way I would ever forget about the pain you caused me was being asleep. If even. I know you had good intentions, and we were both stupid in our own way, and that the group had to be our priority at the time. I know, okay?

She nods, and keeps her eyes on mine.

- But I won't put myself in the same place before. You made me a new Lauren, you taught me how I should never give my everything to someone I don't know entirely yet. How I need to put myself first and my own hopes and dreams before anything. I learned to love myself through being with you, and I will always be thankful to you for it. Gracias, de verdad.

- But you won't get back together with me, will you?

- As odd as it is, we were never together. But no, I think we should keep this friendship as it is. At least for now.

- Life's a bitch - She laughs softly.

- Why?

- Cause I basically said the same to you 5 months ago.

That night we both slept on that bunk, cuddled up in each other just like old times. At the end of the day we both wanted to still be an important part of the other's life, and we will do what it takes to be friends. I just hope my heart can take it.

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