16. San Jose - San Francisco

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Chapter Sixteen

San Jose - San Francisco

"Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say "this is not my life'?" Mrs. Doubtfire - Ellis


San Jose, Dream Bean Coffee Shop, August 31st

Ellis

Clutching the small bouquet, I cross over the street and head back to the Dream Bean Coffee shop in downtown San Jose, where Jessie's been refuelling with double shots of caffeine and by stealing Wi-Fi so she can Skype her folks back home. 

The sun is shining down on me as I wait at the lights. It's one of those days. Really, I wouldn't be surprised if those chirping Disney cartoon birds we're following me. I've never felt better. 

Some say you can have too much of a good thing, but clearly those people have never met Jessie, nor are have they just had quite possibly the best three days of their lives. 

So yeah, the sun is shining and I've got pretty tulips in every colour they had from the small florists down the street and though I've never got flowers for anyone, ever, I make it my mission to start now. 

Jessie deserves the world and with that comes expensive flowers. I can't wait to see her face.

And I can't wait for San Francisco and the next six days I get to spend with her. 

As I enter the coffee shop, I spy Jessie, sat far back in the corner, her head low. The red of her eyes and cheeks should be a dead giveaway but it's not until I side step a bunch of customers by the serving station, do I notice my laptop open in front of her.

Oh shit. 

I've been so wrapped up in surprising her that I never thought she'd have to use my laptop to Skype her parents. 

Too immersed in the joy of the day and the sun and Jessie and the past few nights and everything I could ever have wanted. 

When she glances up, her eyes puffy, it feels like someone's turned me upside down and inside out. 

"What the actual fuck Ellis?" Her voice is a sharp whisper but cutting. She swallows hard and then taps at the laptop screen. I can't see what she's tapping at but I don't have to. I know full well that I've stupidly left my acceptance letter to the other University and email on the desktop. 

My hands wilt around the bouquet of tulips. I don't even know what to say or how to say it or where to even begin. She looks so... angry. 

"What is this?" Jessie's voice grows louder, interrupting the easy calm of a coffee shop on a Wednesday morning. "What. Is. This?" She repeats, slowly.

I stumble and mumble and make an ass out of myself. "I...well...I was going to tell you but..."

"You forgot? You developed amnesia for the past fucking eight months?"

"Please, Jessie, look let's not do this here," I say, my voice cracking. "Can we talk about this outside or in the car?"

She shakes her head so hard I worry it might fall off. "No. No I will not let you 'delay' telling me what the hell's going on and why you've been lying to me this whole time." 

Any previous excuses I'd thought up fall by the way side and I'm just speechless.

I hate myself for just how horrible this has turned out to be. This isn't even the worst. I know it. I can feel it with every brow twitch and jaw tense, and the way Jessie's got her hands balled into fists. 

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