Never Forsaken

8

○●Dana●○

Around midnight

I texted Eric.

○●Dana●○ I need to talk to you , I'm sorry I'm out here so late.

He walked outside where I was.

He grabbed my hands kissing my cheek. "I know. You don't need to explain. But just know I feel like I have the power to never cross that line. EVER. You know how I'd make God look ?"

I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I just let my actions speak before I actually thought."

He leaned forward kissing my forehead.
"My sister, is inside. I'll text you alright and we have bible study in some hours at the church. You coming ?"

I nodded.
"Glad to. You know I'm trying to get myself together."

"Romans 8:28, Remember that. You've been called."

I smiled.
"Thank you so much. I thank God for you."

He was smiling.
"You know ... Ciara told me what happened this morning. Not that it's anything wrong with it but, thank you for caring for her. Her mom is.. out there doing God knows what & she needs someone to look up to."

I rolled my eyes in a "wow" kind of way.
" I never would've thought I'd be the person someone would look up to."

"Why because of the church right?"

"I mean..."

"Haven't I told you God has no respecter of persons?"

"Well yeah but-"

"There's no but. They are not the King. He never closed the door on you, he never shut you out , so the only opinion that you should be worrying about is his Dana. You haven't even done anything concerning that these past months. Ciara knows about that and she doesn't care. She's concerned about the person you really are. You're kind, caring , special , considerate, beautiful .. the list goes on and on. And when bible study comes, we're gonna go together and if people ask questions , I'm gonna let them know we're datin'. Not cause I wanna start drama, but because I'm a real person that doesn't judge anyone's past. You're gonna be bold not only to Lynnette but to any and everyone else. Your worship is real. I see it. If I see , I know God does. You're starting off right, we may go astray. But good thing is is grace... we gone step out on it together. You're not alone. No one is perfect."

I just smiled in agreement.

We kissed.
"Good night sweetheart. I'm gonna send a message to you check in if you've gotten back home safe."

"Okay."
I got In my car going home.

The only perfect man who walked the earth was Jesus.

○●Lynnette●○

"Hello? I've been worried sick Derrick."

"I'm gonna add God in everything I do. The bible tells us Be ye angry but sin not, so I went and got a hotel room for me and Jaxon. I had a talk with him and let him know that... no matter what I'll be his father. "

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm know. Lynnette, forgiveness takes time. I'm coming home but I'm gonna be sleeping in the guess room for a bit. I gotta separate from you for a while."

"But Derrick... I don't want you to feel like I've been deceiving you or whole marriage. Our love hasn't been a lie."

"Oh it hasn't? We were on married a year before we had him. Now you telling me you've been completely honest with me the whole 18 years?"

"Derrick , that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean? I'm supposed to come home to you and act like nothing ever happened?  I'm a human.  I'm not perfect, I need time to recover! Cause I feel like 18 years of my life has been WASTED & for what?! It's been plenty of nice women I could've met. But no I feel like I'm a man of God who tries his best , and behind closed doors I got a lying deceitful wife???"

I cut him off.
"It was only once Derrick"

"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE MORE THAN ONCE!  YOU WEREN'T HONEST. If anything you pretended you love me and PRETENDED JAXON WAS 100% MINE. You LIVED A LIE FOR 18 YEARS. Now you're trying to minimize it." He sighed.  "Look I'm getting angry. I'll talk about this another time."

I listened to him the whole time he spoke. And I realized that not only have I cheated on him and lied to him I lied to my son.  "Your dad" this and "your dad" that.

I don't know... I think I'll go to bible study in some hours.
I'm ashamed , cause I know everyone will look at me.
But , I need it.

Oh Lord , I want you to help me.

○●Ciara●○

During the day.

"Ciara! How's your mom doing?"

I frowned at my aunt. She too much,  like calm down.
Her hands in my face, I back up a little. I push her hand back with my sandwich in my other hand.
"My mom doesn't like me. I don't know where she is."

"Aww baby, that's alright. Bubba should know where she is !"

I did a fake smile.
"Well Bubba hasn't seen Ciraya in 14 years." I said sarcastically.

She got up from the couch grabbing her bags. "Well it was nice seeing yall, I'll visit another time."
With that she left out the door.
My school closed today because they thought a storm was passing.
I'm stuck home.  Ms.Dana isn't here either.  I haven't heard from her. My dad is at work.
I'm so bored.

Craziness.

○●Eric●○
Dana had showed up at my job for lunch with homemade spaghetti.

We're sitting down eating.

"Did you go to work today?"
She shook her head no.

"Nah, I decided to call in sick. Wasn't up for going. Been thinking about putting my degree to use."

"Business right?" I nodded my head. She nodded hers, and we kept eating.
I am well off. CEO of the Bank, I'm doing well by the grace of God. If she needed anything all she'd have to do is ask. I would think deny her of anything. I can't bring money into into a casket.

"You know Dana,  if you ever need a loan I'll help."

She looked up.
"Thank you for the offer but, no thank you I really don't wanna be in debt at the moment."

I chuckled.
"Who said you'd have to pay it back?"

She was looking at her plate eating.
"I understand your concern Eric. But no thank you. I'll figure out a way."

I smiled. She pushes me away all the help time. I don't know why.  I'm not going no where as God is my witness.

"Dana sweetheart,  why you pushing me away? How many barriers you gonna keep building everytime I manage to help break one down?"

She looked away. Like to the wall.
Shedding a tear came with the look to the wall.
"I'm sorry, I just I don't know." She started to get up put of her seat.

"Dana , sit down please. You're gonna have to face these things and running away won't help. I'm not the boogie man. The only thing I wanna do is love you. But you won't let me in. Don't you know me ?"

She had sat back down by then.
"Look Eric , I'm sorry. It's so complicated I don't think you understand." She started Fidgeting with her fingers.

"I can show you Dana. Maybe I can put 100% instead of 95..." I nodded my head to myself.
Then I said. "Aight look, just let me figure everything out. But don't keep building up walls like that. Because if you'd had any other man, he would've been got tired of breaking down walls. Its Only so much a man can take."
She nodded.
"I understand Eric. I apologize again."

"No need for apologies. I'll see you later." I got up kissing her cheek.

She left.

Keep thy heart with all diligence. For out of it are the issues of life.