Love's Green Thumb

28. We're "Friends," Right?

Song: Let Me Breathe- The Hours

Finally, I bring to you.... An actual update!!!!

The first few days back were... uncomfortable, to say the least.

Everyone was on edge around Hinata-- unsure of whether or not he was going to blow up at them again. And he understood their caution. Because he could feel it, too, that constant pressure bubbling around him like he wanted to scream.

It had been there since Natsu.

But lately, it was noticeably swelling down, and he wondered if that had to do with his own personal control or something else entirely.

To everyone's surprise, Kageyama had been the first one to break the ice. In a loud, irritated voice, he'd yelled at the club to-- and this is extremely paraphrased to avoid the damaging of young ears-- to quit being such little turds and welcome back their old friend like they should've done the first day he'd come back.

After that, it had been almost completely normal between the group. Inside jokes, handshakes, crude hand gestures, the whole shebang. But that never included Hinata.

They still treated him like glass-- no fake meaness, no wrestling around, no buddy-buddy fun.

Hinata told them that he'd started therapy (he'd started a week or so before his apology) to get better, that he was going to try his best to be their friend again, but it was clear that no one knew the proper way to react to a boy whose sister had killed herself and now suffered from severe anxiety and depression himself.

Was there even a right way for that?

And in all honesty, the therapy hadn't been his idea-- it was his mother's. She went with him to every meeting, called him every day to make sure he was taking his medication, and was basically his main support beam. Without her... He didn't want to think about it.

"You look constipated." Kageyama's humming voice came from behind a potted daisy.

Hinata nearly knocked over a row of daisies in his surprise. "I'm not consti- consta- c-consteb........ That word." Hinata exclaimed, giving up on the pronunciation completely. "I'm just thinking, is all."

Kageyama came around and put on arm around his shoulder as casually as one would a lover. Hinata allowed himself to relish a little in how far their friendship had seemed to come since he opened up to Tobio.

In fact, they might have been moving a little too quick. Hinata tried to push away the butterflies in his stomach as he stopped planting, instead focusing his attention on Kageyama Tobio's arm-- which was so long and heavy that he nearly toppled at first, but managed to hold his ground (thanks to years of volleyball experience).

"Anything you want to talk about?" Kageyama asked it with a tone of extremely casual nonchalance, a good trick he'd learned in high school. The question was serious, but the tone made it more friendly.

Hinata shrugged off the arm. He was frowning slightly now. "Do you think... Do you think things will ever go back to how they were before?" He didn't look at Kageyama and stared instead at the potted flower in his hands.

"Before...?"

"Yeah. I mean, the other club members. They don't trust me anymore... I think." He kicked a pebble.

Tobio watched him, narrowing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. "I... Time. That's what you need. Everyone still needs to figure out how to deal with... everything."

Hinata nodded slowly. He understood, but it was just... sad. He'd already lost nearly everything because of his own incompetence, and if his friends became caught up in that, as well-- it was too much, too much...