Love's Green Thumb

21. Help (Not) Wanted

Song: Bridges- Broods

When Hinata woke up, the only thing he could make out was the dark figure of a person standing next to him, pacing back and forth.

He shut his eyes to block out everything else. He didn't want to be here, shouldn't be here.

"Oh, God, you're awake!" The voice was too loud. Hinata tried to shut his eyes harder. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he wouldn't have to feel anything anymore.

But then there was that agonizingly curious voice pulling him back. Where was he? Why was Kageyama next to him? What happened after he'd had a panic attack at the park?

A warm, yet firm, hand put itself on Hinata's forehead.

"Jesus Christ, Shouyou, what were you thinking? Staying out in this weather for so long!" Kageyama pulled his hand away, shocked at how hot the other boy was. He definitely had a cold from sitting out in that freezing weather for so long- and in only a sweater, at that!

Finally, Shouyou cracked his eyes open. There, standing a few feet away, was Tobio Kageyama, his eyes wide from worry and his foot tapping nervously. "Seriously, you just got over a cold, and now you're-..." He suddenly found the wooden floorboards extremely interesting. "You know, you made everyone worry... Idiot."

Shouyou placed an arm over his eyes. Saw Natsu behind his eyelids. Opened them again. "Where am I?"

He was scared to hear how weak his voice sounded.

Kageyama slumped down into a chair next to the bed. "My dorm. Oikawa is out right now, so don't worry about him coming in... not that you know who that is, so it's not like you care... I didn't know where else to take you after you passed out. Shit, I should've taken you to the hospital or the healthroom or something. Do you still want to go? If you feel bad, I can-"

"Please," Hinata croaked, curling into a ball, "No more."

Kageyama didn't understand. Didn't know how to react around Shouyou. "No more...what?"

"...No more." Hinata shrunk smaller. Closed his eyes again.

What should I do? I already called Suga, so he should be over in a few minutes... Should I get the nurse? Should I offer Hinata something to drink? Something to eat? Fuck. Thinkthinkthink. What do I do?

Kageyama's thoughts raced along at a mile a minute. He stared at Hinata. The boy looked so vulnerable curled up in Tobio's sheets, body in a ball and hair a mess. Could someone so bright and small really be so damaged?

"Okay, so, uh... Do you want to talk about...you know...?"

Hinata's eyes didn't open, but his entire body stiffened. He dug a fingernail into his wrist, tried to focus on the pain. "How much...do you know?"

"Everything." No use in lying.

"... How?"

The nail dug deeper.

"Tanaka... He was worried about you, so he told the club, but... But, uh, don't be mad at him!"

Deeper.

Deeper.

Deeper.

And then there was a knock at the door.

"Kageyama Tobio, you open up this damn door right now!" Kageyama stood up, glanced at Shouyou, then opened the door- and came face to face with a fuming Suga. "Where is he?!"

Tobio glanced back at Hinata, but blocked Suga from seeing him. "He's... He's here. Hinata, is... really bad right now."

When the boy was turned, Koushi snuck under Tobio's arm and into the room, and the latter was shocked to see the rest of the garden club standing out in the hallway. Every single one of them wore a concerned expression.

"How is he?" -Tanaka.

"Can we see him?" -Yamaguchi.

"Is he alright?" -Daichi.

Kageyama didn't know what to say or who to address, so he panicked and slammed the door shut.

Upon realizing what he'd done, he opened it back up and let everyone in.

Hinata was sitting up in the bed now. His hair was a mess, his face yelled 'potential nutcase', and he had an obvious fever, but the boys stood around him anyway.

No one, not even Suga, knew what to say.

So Hinata said it for them. "So now you know." His voice was bitter, not bothering to disguise the obvious utter disgust he had for everyone knowing his secret. "Happy?"

Daichi looked uncomfortable. "Look, Hinata, about what happened... It wasn't your fault."

Shouyou just glared at him. It was almost as if everyone could see the porcupine needles surrounding the boy like some sort of defense mechanism. "Yeah, whatever." He knew he was being an ass. Didn't care.

They didn't have a right to know.

This should've been Hinata's decision to make, whether he decided to ever tell them or not. Not Tanaka's...! This was a personal violation in the highest sense of the word.

"I'm sorry, Hinata. Really. I was way out of line to tell them, but we need to get you help. I mean... Look at yourself, Shouyou." Speak of the devil.

Hinata scoffed bitterly. Was that all these people knew how to do? Apogolgize for things that didn't concern them one way or another?

Suga tried to take Hinata's hand, but the latter drew away so fast you'd think he'd been bitten by a snake. "I'm so sorry, Shouyou. If I'd have known, I'd never have held that match, and I wouldn't have said those things... oh my God, can you ever forgive me?"

In the corner of the room, a certain tall boy stood watching the scene unfold around him. Kageyama scratched his neck. This was bad...

Should he not have called Suga? He hadn't known he'd bring the whole club, so it's not like it was technically his fault, but...

"It's none of your business, now can you guys just fucking go away already?! " Hinata finally snapped. His knuckles gripped tight around the sheets. Body shook under his loose sweater.

All of his friends wore the same crestfallen expression on their faces. Secretly, deep down, some part of Hinata felt relieved.

The other high majority of him felt like shit.

"I'm not some charity case, okay? Just... leave me alone."

No one said anything. One after another, they stood up and trailed out, each one wanting to pause and turn back around-- but none of them did. Hinata resisted the urge to slam his head into the wall just so he didn't have to be awake another minute more.

And then, there were two.

A/N: Do you think it was okay for Tanaka to tell the club about Hinata's secret?

And do you think the club handled everything the way they should've?