the sheets stuck to your skin, clutching onto your body leaving you utterly restless. your eyes shut and your breathing heavy. you desired for his fingers to lay on top of yours but instead you were accompanied by the singing of your phone and your hand to reach for the lightened screen.
calum: i miss you babygirl.
your vision was blurry with tears threatening to spill and your teeth digging exaggeratedly into your lips. the taste of metal kissing your tongue. endless, endless text messages of the same meaning. the boy always drugged up or veins filled with toxicant liquids asking for you.
i fucking miss her: if you really miss me calum you wouldn't text me when you're high.
you only he was smoking the substances of forest green because his words seemed to make sense this time.
calum: what do you mean babygirl im not high i just miss you.
you wanted to throw the fucking phone. your heart beating with the weight of his voice crushing everything. he was the one who broke it off with you. he was the one who begged you take him back after the tortuous months he made you wait for him to say that.
he was the one that you wished was beside you, leaving the simple melodies of songs stuck in your head to escape your lips.
i fucking miss her: you broke up with me. do you remember that calum??
calum: of course i do, but i will always still love you and i just miss you.
i fucking miss her: no you just want to have sex with me calum and then after when i text you to see you again you'll read it and pretend you don't love me.
calum: i would never do that.
i fucking miss her: really? maybe you were high the last time you came over too. because that's exactly what you did.
calum: im sorry babygirl.
i fucking miss her: you have no right to call me that anymore calum. leave me alone please you're killing me. these texts hurt.
calum: but i just miss you.
i fucking miss her: if you really love me you would stop talking to me. i miss you too but the only way i can forgot you is to stop thinking of you. because God i just
calum: you just what?
i fucking miss her: i love you too calum. i love you so much but i can't anymore.
calum: why? why can't you just give me another chance. i won't mess up this time i promise i want to be with you.
i fucking miss her: because i did give you another chance and you only call me when you're high.
i fucking miss her: goodbye calum
