friends by chase Atlantic is good to listen to while reading this :-))
i seemed to misread certain things. it was utterly dangerous for me to smile at him the first time. i was wrong to believe his touch had meanings. his words were multiple scribbles of nothing for me. he misled me when his aroma made my eyes follow him with admiration. instead he was busy forgiving her, he meant his phrases with her. 1:43 am i realized my worst habit, misreading.
so instead of screaming, a simper was portrayed for him and my best friend. i would appreciate their relationship and i would adore their embraces because of my faults. but i was numb.
"y/n, are you listening to me?" my vision darted to the face of a ten year relationship of friendship, michelle. "no im sorry." i mumbled tucking a strand of hair taking in the time.
"hey," she paused moving closer her warmer finger tips touching my colder one. "what's wrong? something's been bothering you lately i can see it." i shook my head, i couldn't stop gazing at the movement of her thumb over my skin. i hated it.
"it's really nothing, im just tired and stressed out. you know university is extremely hopeless if you want sleep." she smiled nodding. michelle popped up off her bed and went to the mirror rubbing under her eye. "okay well as long as you're okay i need you to do me a favor."
"which would be?" she turned around still grinning. "you're friends with calum correct?" she withdrew from speaking waiting for a response and i hesitantly agreed.
"perfect so you know his birthday is coming up and what good of a girlfriend would i be if i didn't get him an amazing gift which means i need you to stall him. so i can get one." i immediately shook my head, mentally yelling in all the possible languages and ways to say no.
"i am not staying alone for more than an hour with your boyfriend michelle." i informed as she stomped her foot purposely whining. "no y/n please you need to. calum will notice im doing something because it's Saturday and we always hang out just please text him and ask to like watch a movie or something i don't know. it can't be that hard when you've known him longer than me. please y/n." she dragged out my name at the end and i couldn't help but nod my head and paste a smile.
"okay fine but only for a couple of hours." she jumped up and down screeching then bursting into a hyper mess and hugged me. "thank you, thank you. i owe you big time, but I'm going to get ready ask him now please." i nodded and took out my phone. my hands out were shaking looking back at the actual real conversation we had before michelle. it made me worry with trepidation. i missed him and i didn't understand how everything broke.
yet i was able to type a sentence or two to his contact.
me; hey, i know it's really last minute but maybe you want to hang out and watch a movie at my place or your place if you're not doing anything :)
after seconds i noticed a bubble pop up signaling him replying back. that made my stomach twist and my knees lock.
him; first of all its *:-) second of all im not sure. i think michelle wanted to do something tonight ill ask her real quick.
im not sure how but his few words made a tiny grin play onto my lips and it disgusted me even more when i knew it was utterly genuine. i answered okay and waited for michelle to let the plan begin. after four minutes my phone vibrated and i skimmed over the text.
him; i guess she has something to do with her parents since they are in town so sure. you can come over to my place because i know you like my movie selection better :-) ill see you in a couple of minutes right?
me; okay cool and yeah ill see you in about 15 minutes :-D
my hands were tingling when i informed michelle, she waved me goodbye and i left with the reincarnation of the butterflies he use give me. it was within no time when my boots clicked against the side walk and my hair was always falling in front of my eye when i rang the doorbell and he answered. "hey." he said.
"hi." i answered and he moved to the side letting me in. everything was the same from when i last visited months ago. "so what do you plan on watching with me?" he replied sort of startling me out of my train of thoughts. i smiled looking at him.
"oh honestly i don't know, you can pick." he shook his head, lightly grinning. "no you pick last time you were here i picked." my hands were beginning to shake again when i realized he remembered. i nodded and walked over to the shelf of the multiple films. i of course took one without questioning and handing it to him. "how could i have i not known, Roman Holiday." and that somehow made a laugh escape.
"cmon you know that's my favorite you should've hid it before i came here." he agreed and that me giggle more. "ive missed you." he blurted out and my expression was soon taken away. and my brain somehow made me do the same but in a much more cruel way. "well i guess i haven't noticed." the color in his eyes darkened and i instantly regretted my choice of words.
"oh god im sorry i didn't mean to-" he shook his head no and waved his fingers for me to stop. "no its fine but i must say i have to feel the same way." i stood silent, i wanted to scream. he couldn't read my feelings and i sure as hell wouldn't tell him them.
"im not saying sorry for that part." i murmured for only his ears could hear. "what did i do?" he asked making me chuckle unamused.
"the question is what didn't you do." i couldn't explain what was in me that let me say these things but i was letting them. "oh so that's what it's like." he turned his back toward me beginning to walk away and my legs brought me closer to him to force him to look at me.
"you can't do that, calum you," he was searching for an answer from me. "say it y/n, tell me how you feel." tears welled up and i couldn't see his detailed features but a blurry figure. "you broke me. i can't feel anything anymore. i fucking adored you and you ended admiring someone else and i hate you for that. just tell me we're just not friends, it doesn't make sense" i whimpered wanting to hit the man who's made me completely numb.
"i hate you calum and i think i should just-" i remember screaming my head off but then something beautiful happened. his lips against mine. the feeling of adrenaline and affection oozing from our bodies. i knew it was wrong but i never stopped him. not when my eyes shut and when my hands ran through his hair or as my legs wrapped around his hips. we were cascading with lust and we desired more.
we were a mess dropping things. but we couldn't care. "this is wrong." i whispered as his mouth were forming arts of his own. "i don't want it to be. just kiss me y/n." i ran my lips towards him once more before his body moved to his room. i misread the situations like this but i didn't want to think. i wanted to love.
