World Domination (Invader Zim Fanfic) [COMPLETED]

The Armada

"This is NOT going to work, filthy human."

Dib had colored his eyelids pink, his face green, and smoothed back his hair. Two black sticks stuck up from his head and he wore one of Zim's army uniforms (that barely fit him).

"If your stupid human disguise worked, why won't this?" Dib pointed out.

"First of all, you won't be able to see! Second, Irkens are smarter than humans! The disguise won't trick anyone! Third of all... Really? That uniform is so small on you that you can't bend your legs!"

"It'll work. Besides, if push comes to shove, we can just run away!"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Your eyes aren't even the right color, but whatever."

"Oh shut up," Dib muttered, stepping out of the base.

It was later in the day, and the sky had darkened to a light red. The streets had craters in them from Zim's giant mech, but there were oddly no Irkens around. "They're on the other side of town," Zim thought aloud. Dib immediately tripped on one of the craters once outside of Zim's front lawn. "Oh, for the love of the Tallest..."

"Let's just go find everyone," Dib got up and cautiously made his way down the street. Zim followed, keeping him from tripping every few steps.

"Gir, do a visual scan of the area--Crater," Zim rolled his eyes.

"Yes, my Lord!" Gir's eyes temporarily went red as he saluted Zim. He flew up and came back down a moment later. "Uh, there are A LOT of craters and everythin', um... I saw a giant hot dog. And a POODLE!"

"Where's the armada?"

"Over there," Gir pointed directly in front of them.

"That's all I needed. Good job G--Crater," Zim cut his praise short to warn Dib. "Give it up, earth boy. This won't work. Probably because an inferior human came up with it."

"Do you have a better idea, monkey stink?" Dib snapped.

"I should throw you to the armada," Zim gritted his teeth.

"I should blast you to bits," Dib growled back. (If you hadn't figured out by now, I DO NOT ship ZaDR [Zim and Dib Romance]. Worst. Ship. Ever.)

"OOH! Mary and Billy are having DRAMA!" Gir squealed. Zim looked over, confused. "What?"

"Uhm... Let's get going," Dib seemingly ignored Gir's comment. "I have a better idea about guiding me."

"What?"

"Spider legs?"

"Alright..." Zim extended the metal spider legs from the PAK. Dib grabbed onto one and Zim walked along. "We'll just say you lost your PAK and that we're looking for it."

"Wait... Can't Irkens only live ten minutes without it?"

"Uh-huh. Look as tired as possible. Call this revenge for making me lose my PAK that one time."

They approached the armada, which seemed to be scouting out the area. One of them--An Irken Elite--turned when Zim approached. "An Invader?" He eyed Zim. "Oh, you must be Invader Zim."

"Yes, Elite. What might you be doing?" Zim saluted the Elite, as he was a higher rank.

"The Tallest have asked us to scout out the planet. Who is... That?"

"This is Dib. One of the humans fought back and dislodged his PAK. We've been looking for it," Zim shoved Dib off of the leg.

"Soldier, how much is left on the lifeclock?"

They had been speaking in Irken, and Dib was clearly lost.

"Just say four minutes," Zim hissed.

"Four minutes," Dib gulped.

"Good luck, Invader. A black PAK, I presume?"

"Yes."

"We'll keep an eye out for it."

The two walked away. "Bye bye!" Gir waved.

"Gir!" Zim glared at him. "Get over here."

"Okay!" Gir skipped over.

Zim turned back to Dib. "I keep forgetting you can't speak Irken."

"What're they doing?" Dib asked.

"Scouting the planet. It should take them a few hours."

"We can't attack right now. From what I heard, you sounded... Different. Like you were talking to someone important."

"An Elite. Highest rank in the Irken military."

"Highly trained, I presume. If we attack now, we're dead meat."

"You're not wrong," Zim thought for a moment. "Maybe I should just leave the planet-"

"No!" Dib opened his eyes. "Don't!"

"In case you haven't noticed, WE'RE OVERPOWERED. Even amazing Zim can't take them down!"

"Come on! You came to Earth to rule us, not to just sit back and watch your leaders take over!"

"Plus, you don't want to get destroyed," Zim rolled his eyes. "I see right through your ploy. But... You're right. I'll rule. You humans will pay."

"There he is! Also... You do realize I'm starting a rebellion as soon as you come into power," Dib crossed his arms.

"Of course. And I'll squash that rebellion," Zim punched Dib.

"I wanna be in a rebellion!" Gir jumped up and down.

"Gir! You're on MY SIDE!"

"Who says? You don't have taquitos!"