Two of a kind (phan and kickthestickz)

Chapter 32

Why hello there :)




Phil woke up and squeezed to body lying next to him, looking up to remind himself who it was and was met by Damian's sad, tired, smiling face.
"Oh, sorry, I always hug in my sleep," Phil said awkwardly and pulled away, sitting up beside him.
"I know you do, it's okay,"
"Dame did you get any sleep last night?" Phil asked him worriedly, noticing the bags underneath his eyes.
"A few hours. But that was probably from having you next to me," he said quietly, and Phil felt terrible.
"Dame I am just so so sorry. I am just hurting you more by you being here, you don't have to stay," Phil told him.
"I want to,"
"But it's hurting you,"
"I don't care Phil. I know the damage I am doing to myself and it is fine. And like I said, I don't care," he said firmly.
"But I care," Phil told him.
"Please Phil. Let me stay," Damian whispered, begging him, tears started to form in his eyes and Phil couldn't let them fall.
"Okay," he said quietly. "But only if you start smiling properly I can't bear to have you sad," Phil told him. Damian pulled his lips into a small smile and Phil shook his head. "Genuinely. But you need some breakfast. Stay here, I will be back soon with food. And no tears okay?" Phil said, patting his arm before standing up and walking down to the kitchen.


He quickly popped some bread into his toaster before starting to rummage around in his cupboards for what he needed. Butter, jam, a knife and yes! Cookie cutters. The best way to fix a broken heart: heart shaped jam on toast. And Nutella. Nutella always helps.


The toast jumped up and phil grabbed it, attacking it with the cookie cutter. He managed to turn out a few resonantly shaped hearts (the others he would call 'abstract' or 'scientifically' shaped) and started spreading each with either jam and butter of Nutella, quickly licking the knife once he was done before letting it splash in the sink. He grabbed a tall glass and poured some orange juice into it before putting it and the plate of toast onto a tray that was covered in sheep, before balancing it carefully as he headed back upstairs.


Just as he left the kitchen he saw a vase of flowers, and pulled a small marigold out of the bunch, placing it on the edge of the tray and starting to walk up the stairs.


When he got to the top Damian was still sitting on his bed, but he was no longer shirtless and was wearing Phil's Gengar top.
"Sorry, it was the one I could find and I got cold," Damian told him awkwardly.
"Keep it. It always looked better on you," Phil told him seriously. "Now here, eat your breakfast," Phil told him, setting the tray down on his lap. A real smile cross Damian's face as he saw the toast and picked up the flower, sniffing it before setting it back down.
"You made them heart shaped?" He said, sounding touched but chuckling.
"It's a family thing," Phil told him, sitting down beside him. "The best way to cure a broken heart is jam on toast in heart shapes. The Nutella ones are there because, well, Nutella," he said and Damian nodded, understanding.
"So this will fix my broken heart?" Damian asked him, taking a bite and wiping crumbs away from his lips.
"Yes. It had been scientifically proven by a real mad scientist who I also call mum," Phil told him, and it was good to hear Damian laugh again. Phil sneakily grabbed a heart off his plate and took a bite, realising he was actually rather hungry.
"Are you nursing a broken heart too Phil?" Damian asked him.
"I'd more say sewing up the edges, I accidentally ripped them last night," Phil said thoughtfully and Damian nodded, his smile darkening a little.


"So, as much as I hate this topic, what do you think you are going to do about my brother dearest?" Damian asked him, taking more toast off the plate and munching.
"I don't know. But I don't think I want to get back together with him," Phil chewed his lip, thinking desperately about what to do.
"Why not?" Damian asked carefully.
"Like I know I am in love with him still, sorry again, but that doesn't mean I can forgive him completely for cheating on me to spite my best friend. It really hurt me and I don't feel like I can trust him. And I just want some time away, if you get what I mean. Am I actually making sense?" Phil said, taking another piece of the toast (it was a good job he made a lot).
"You are. Phil, just take some time out and be alone, not literally, but single for a bit. Just see how you feel as time goes on more," Damian told him and Phil nodded.
"I really wished I loved you and not him," Phil said sadly, hardly audible.
"Me too, but the heart is a little piece of shit," Damian said and chuckled, making Phil giggle.
"You're the best you know," Phil told him and Damian smiled.
"I am, it's true. Now stop stealing my toast or I will kill you,"
"Fine, and you do need it more than I do,"
"Exactly,"



"Dame? What are we gonna tell people?" Phil asked once they had both finished eating.
"You could tell Chris and Pj the truth. No one else really knows because it's the holidays. But Dan..." He trailed off and sucked his teeth. "I don't know. I will say we split up, warning: if he laughs or gloats I will punch him, but do you want me to say why? Or do you want to? Or are we not gonna tell him why at all?"
"I think... Tell him we broke up. I am with you with the whole hitting thing to be honest and I hate violence but I doubt he will be horrible about it. Tell him that I will tell him when I feel it is right to if he asks though. Is that alright?" Phil checked and Damian nodded.
"Yeah that sounds about right." He paused for a few seconds before raising his hand quickly in the air. "Shotgun not telling Chris and Pj!" He yelled.
"Damn it!" Phil cursed and Damian giggled.
"Should have called it,"
"I really should have,"
"Tell them together?"
"Yeah that sounds better, but not today. Tomorrow. And tell them before Dan and sort this whole thing out properly," Phil said and Damian nodded in confirmation. He let out a yawn and briefly shut his eyes.


"Do you want to borrow some pyjamas and sleep Dame, you really do look tired," Phil asked him gently. Damian sighed and nodded his head, not opening his eyes. Phil got off the bed and walked over to his draws, pulling out a pair of superman pyjama bottoms for Damian and Spider-Man for himself as his jeans really weren't comfy. He threw the pyjamas at Damian and it his his face, making him scowl but laugh at Phil. He stood up and looked awkwardly at Phil who turned his back like a gentleman. He heard Damian cough signalling he was finished and Phil turned around to see him smiling softly at him. "Er I'm just gonna change too as I am really not comfortably in jeans at the moment," Phil said and Damian nodded, turning his back and covering his eyes. Phil quickly changed into the pyjamas, throwing his jeans into his laundry basket before finding an old t-shirt and putting that on too. "You can open your eyes now if you haven't already fallen asleep," Phil told him and Damian turned back around, yawning again. "Get into bed, I will close the curtains and turn off the lights for you," Phil said and Damian nodded, crawling into Phil's bed and cuddling into the duvet. Phil drew the curtains and switched off the light, hoping the curtains were making it dark enough.


"Er Phil? Would it be okay if you lay with me? I really do sleep better with someone around," he asked and Phil grinned and walked over, climbing into the bed and lying next to him. Damian smiled at him awkwardly before Phil rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around him and Damian hugged him back, resting his head on his chest and almost instantly falling asleep, his breaths becoming deeper and tiny snores leaking from his lips. Phil stroked his hair soothingly and shut his own eyes, just listening to the soft sound of Damian breathing, rhythmically making him become sleepy, and fall asleep too. Soon this would all be over and everything would be okay.


Dans POV (yeah bitches)


This was slowly becoming a nightmare. Dan still felt like half of him was missing, and that there was hardly any point to his life anymore. He knew he should try to at least move on, start getting up and doing something, but he physically couldn't. He knew he had lost a lot of weight. He hadn't meant to, he just hadn't been remembering that eating was a necessity, not with Phil gone. At least Phil was happy though, he had someone who at least would look after him, and he knew Damian would do a better job than Dan ever could have. He just wished he hadn't thrown the most important part of his life away. Phil was his world, and now Dan was drifting through space, alone without any breath, suffocating slowly with no life line, stuck forever. And he deserved it.


Damian still hasn't been back home for a while, but Dan guessed he was still with Phil, lying together happily, or even- yeah. He sighed. He wouldn't be surprised. Dan just wished he could have been Phil's first, he would have made it special, romantic, perfect. He at least hoped Damian had done it right and made it so Phil would remember it happily. He needed to change subject, this was getting too hard.


He could always call Chris and Pj, they helped him feel better before, and it would be good to get out the house or just talk to them. He grabbed his phone off the table beside him and scrolled through his contacts, sighing as he saw Phil's name hovering about Pj's, a few kisses dotted beside them. He clicked Pj's icon quickly and listened to it as it rang.
"Hey Dan," Pj said chirpily.
"Hey Peej, how are you?" Dan asked out of politeness.
"Good," he paused. "Chris says he's good too." Dan chuckled and smiled, he was already feeling better.
"Do you wanna do something tomorrow?" Dan asked him.
"Er it will have to be at about half 4 if that's okay? Do you wanna come over?" He said.
"Yeah that's alright and sounds great. See you guys then," Dan said and ended the call. They were already doing something, probably seeing Phil or something, hopefully to try and help him change his mind. Probably not. Oh well, he could just do something fun until then. So sleep and hopefully dream that he was still with Phil. It was some of the only happiness he could get nowadays.


Phil's POV (and it's the next day btw)


"What do you think they're gonna say?" Phil asked worriedly as he shut the door, locking it behind him and turning to Damian, slight terror on his face.
"You look more nervous than you were when you said you were telling them we were together," Damian laughed.
"Yeah... Well... I just don't want them to be all weird around me and definitely not moan at me about it all," Phil explained.
"I see what you mean. But it's Chris and Pj, they will be fine with it so stop stressing," Damian told him as they started to walk.
"How about you though? Are you okay with all this?" Phil asked him, taking hold of his arm and turning him to face him, squinting into his face.
"Phil, I really am, okay? Yes, I am still hurting a bit but it will all be fine if we explain and I don't blame you at all so seriously, stop blaming yourself. No one can choose who they fall for," he said with an exasperated laugh and Phil hugged him quickly.
"What would I do without you?" He asked and Damian just smiled before starting to walk back towards town.



"We're way to early," Phil said when they met the centre, realising they still had half an hour before Chris and Pj would arrive to meet them.
"Well then how about we get a milkshake and drink it while waiting to kill some time?" Damian asked him and a grin spread across Phil's face.
"Shakeaway?"
"Shakeaway." They cross back over the road and turned the corner to see the main shopping centre, Phil holding one of the glass doors open for Damian, before walking in after him and heading to the right, spotting Shakeaway straight away. They walked inside and waited in line, it wasn't too busy at the time as it was just before lunch, everyone would be eating soon. Luckily Damian and Phil both had stomachs the size of the TARDIS so they would be fine.


"So Phil? What are you going to get?" Damian asked him, winking. They always got the same thing.
"Oreo and Daim bar of course," Phil giggled. "But what about you Damian, are you getting something ultra different today?" He asked sarcastically.
"Yes Phil I am, instead of my usual white chocolate and Kitkat I am going to get DARK chocolate and Kitkat," he said in the same tone, then giggled. "This is why people hate us,"
"This is why people love us," Phil corrected him.
"Er I'm not sure about that," Damian said and they stepped forwards, pretending to be normal while they ordered.
"Hello guys, what do you want?" A perky girl with bright pink curls asked them.
"One Oreo an Daim and one dark chocolate and Kitkat please," Phil asked and she grinned at him.
"Coming right up," she said, then giggled. She didn't look too old, only a few years above them probably, or maybe was taking a gap year.
"She looks familiar," Damian said quietly to Phil.
"Does she? I don't think I have seen her before," Phil said uncertainly. Suddenly she was back clutching two cups and passed them to them.
"There you go, have a nice day boys," she said, winking at Damian as Phil handed her the money.


They left the shop and Damian pulled an awkward face.
"She put her number on my cup," he told him.
"Is that a bad thing? She's looked nice," Phil said and Damian squirmed, then a surprised look came over his face.
"Oh shit. I think I know where I recognised her from. You remember the old old Damian?" He asked and Phil nodded, frowning.
"The one who smoked and slept with different people each night and oh. OH," he said, realising. "Well that is incredibly awkward. At least she didn't recognise you, right?"
"I don't know, I used to do a thing to pick up people I used to say 'remind me to get your number later', so once I was finished with them I could leave with no hassle and not hurt their feelings so much by making them feel it was their fault. I was really horrible back then," he shuddered and Phil patted his shoulder.
"Well drink your milkshake, she probably won't have poisoned it, and I doubt she would recognise you if you were both drunk, and you look pretty different compared to back then," Phil told him and Damian nodded, warily sipping his milkshake.
"It's clean, I will be fine," he said, slurping happily again.


They strolled back to the bench where they were meant to be waiting and sat casually, chatting about random nonsense and the best milkshakes ever as they lolled against each other.
"Hey lady bitches!" They heard a voice from over their shoulders and they sat up and looked around, seeing and Pj and Chris ambling towards them, grinning.
"Nice to see you too Chris," Damian said, standing up, Phil joining him.
"Hey guys," Pj added.
"Had a good day so far?" Phil asked, and Chris blushed.
"Yeah, great," Pj smirked and Damian pulled a face.
"Ew guys, just ew," Damian said, rolling his eyes.


"So, we have some news," Phil said, gesturing them to sit on the bench opposite the one they were just on, sitting back down.
"You're pregnant," Chris said, his mouth hanging open and his eyes widening. He leant forward and put a hand over Phil's stomach and Phil slapped it away. "Is Damian the father?"
"No! I'm not pregnant! And I'm getting rid of this t-shirt now," Phil said, crossing his arms over his stomach. Damian patted his shoulder and frowned at Chris.
"You look fine Phil. But seriously guys this is kinda important," he said, gesturing for Phil to continue.
"Yeah. Um... Me and Damian aren't together anymore," he said quietly, throwing a sad look over at Damian who smiled at him, as if trying to reassure him it was still okay.
"Oh... Why?" Pj asked, frowning.
"I realised I was still in love with Dan," Phil whispered, dropping his head and sighing.
"Oh... Okay? And you're just fine with this Damian?" Pj asked, still sounding confused, looking at Damian.
"Well it's not ideal, I mean, I love him, but I don't want him to be unhappy and lie to me to make me happy. And being just friends is fine with me," Damian said truthfully and Phil took his hand and squeezed it before putting it back.
"And I really hate that I don't feel that way towards him which doesn't make it better. I had kinda been subconsciously thinking Damian was Dan for the past few days and I didn't realise until last night, and yeah," Phil added awkwardly.
"Why, what happened last night?" Chris asked and Pj shoved him slightly, raising his eyebrows at him.


Damian leaned over and whispered into Phil's ear.
"Can I tell him? I won't say in detail,"
"Yeah go for it," Phil replied and flashed him a smile.
"Well yesterday me and Phil were talking and then we started kissing and it got a bit heated," he coughed awkwardly before continuing. "We er went upstairs and we were kinda shirtless but before anything else happened, below belt wise, I stopped Phil and asked him if he loved me,"
"Erm... To clarify this bit more I kinda want my first time to be with someone I really love, which he remembered and was why he asked," Phil cut in and Damian nodded in agreement before continuing.
"Phil said he did, but didn't say the actual words. So I asked him again, and he didn't say anything. And I told him I understood why he couldn't say them, and that it was because he is still in love with Dan. He started crying and it was all horrible and I held him and we fell asleep and then we talked things over in the morning and spent the day together as just friends and it was nice really," Damian explained and Chris and Pj nodded.


"I think hugs are in order," Chris said and dived on Damian and hugged him tightly, whispering something in his ear and seeing him smile sadly before moving on to hug Phil. Phil saw Pj smiling gently at them both over Chris's shoulder and Phil smiled back. Once as Chris had moved away from Phil Pj started to shift around nervously.
"Not to be rude and horrible but, what are you going to do about Dan?" He asked Phil, biting his lip nervously.
"I don't want to get back together with him. I don't know if I can trust him or not and I don't want to risk it again, putting my heart on the line and make a mistake," Phil said calmly and Chris and Pj nodded and Damian patted his shoulder.
"That makes sense Phil. Are you going to tell him?" Chris asked.
"We are gonna tell him that we broke up, but I don't want to tell him until I feel it's right. So can you guys not tell him? I want to do it in person,"
"We won't tell a soul," Pj agreed.
"Can I tell my cat?" Chris asked and they all smiled and Phil laughed.
"Yes you can tell Mr Tibs," Phil chuckled.
"Good. As he is my best friend and I tell him everything, more than I tell Peej," Chris said solemnly, putting a hand over his heart.
"I'm jealous," Pj stated, and Damian and Phil laughed.
"It's only because I talk about you with him," Chris explained and pj nodded, but Chris winked at Phil when Pj wasn't looking.


"Alright I am hungry, let's get food," Chris stated and stood up, the others nodding an joining him.


*****


It had been a really good day with Phil, Chris and Pj. It was hard to not take Phil's hand while they were walking or kiss his cheek just to see his perfect smile, but Damian knew he had done the right thing. And even though his heart felt like it had cracked down the middle it already felt like it was mending slightly. Maybe it was the toast. Spending time with Phil was great though, even if it wasn't how Damian wished. If Damian could have his perfect world, Phil would be his and only his forever, but life wasn't like that, and nasty tricks were played, but something good always came out of them. He just had to keep hoping.


For the first time properly in a few days he walked up to his front door to stay, twisting the key in the lock before opening it and trudging inside, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat. He called out to his mum who called hello back and he went upstairs to his room, sliding off his jacket and jeans and into comfy sweatpants, pulling on an old hoodie over Phil's t-shirt. He left his room and walked downstairs, flicking on the kettle and preparing a cup of tea, adding one sugar and lots of milk for Dan. Tea always helped with everything, especially if it was in Dan's favourite llama mug. Once it had brewed he threw away the teabag and carried it carefully upstairs, trying not to spill it.


When he got to the landing he shrugged his shoulders a little and took a deep breath before walking forwards and pausing outside Dan's door, listening for any signs of life. He heard non. He knocked on the door 3 times and noticed the sound of rustling and a groan, taking it as his cue to enter. He pushed open the door and saw Dan lying in bed in the dark, he had obviously woken up from the knocking.
"Sorry I woke you," Damian said quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed and leaning down to switch on the fairy lights around Dan's bed.
"Twinkle twinkle," Dan said sleepily, and Damian smiled softly. That was what they used to call the lights when they were little, it was sweet Dan still remembered.
"Yes twinkle head, now sit up," Damian told him and Dan shuffled up and looked at him.


"I brought you some tea," Damian said as he passed the mug to Dan, who gripped it tightly.
"Thanks Dame," he said and took a sip, breathing in happily as the warm liquid hit his lips. They sat in silence for a few moments before Dan spoke up again. "Dame, not to be rude, but, why are you here with tea?" He wondered.
"I need to tell you something and tea because I doubt you have been looking after yourself these past few days," Damian explained.
"Okay, shoot," Dan told him.
"Right, well you will probably be over the moon about this but, me and Phil broke up," Damian told him bluntly, looking down as reminding tears threatened his eyes. Dan stared at him silently and then put his mug down on the bedside table, before pulling Damian into a hug. Damian felt frozen for a second, but then reached his arms up and clasped him back.
"I'm sorry Dame, I know you loved him too. I'm not even over the moon about it, you made Phil happy and he made you happy so now, well, no one is really happy," Dan said and Damian nodded, patting his brothers back, feeling the sudden sharpness of his shoulder blades.
"Thanks Dan. I thought I should tell you considering your feelings towards him too." Dan nodded in reply.


"Er Dan, have you eaten recently?You look thin, and don't try to deny it, I know your body like it's my own," Damian asked and Dan chuckled, then looked thoughtful.
"No, I have been asleep a lot. I have kinda forgotten, you know?" Dan said and Damian nodded.
"Right i am making you some toast. But I have been told this toast is special by a very special person. They told me this kind of toast helps to fix broken hearts, and I think you could do with some. Now drink your tea," Damian told him and stood up, smiling at him before leaving the room and walking down the stairs to make the toast, popping some bread in the toaster before rummaging around for exactly what he needed. Heart shaped cookie cutters.



When he got back up stairs Dan was draining his tea and Damian placed the plate on his lap, seeing a grin spread over his face as he noticed it was heart shaped toast.
"Really?" He said, before taking a bite.
"Phil's family recipe. Of course it is heart shaped," Damian laughed, sitting back down on his bed cross-legged.
"Can I ask why you guys broke up?" Dan asked and Damian stole a piece of toast off Dan's plate.
"I can't tell you," Damian said and Dan's face dropped. "I mean, I can't, because Phil wants to tell you in person at some point," he explained. "And Dan, I just want to tell you that you need to start being healthy again, therefore a lot of Maltesers will be needed little brother," he told him, standing up.
"I'm not your little brother,"
"I am 13 minutes older than you,"
"I am taller than you,"
"You're still little,"
"Shut up." Damian laughed and walked to the door, turning around before he left.


"Oh and little brother? Don't give up hope on Phil." He told him and walked out the door, knowing Dan was slowly going to get back on his feet.



DUN DUN DUUUUN


I kinda can't focus on anything because supernatural is very distracting and yeah so I don't actually know what I am writing :)


I actually can't remember what's in this chapter apart from toast because I am so consumed in supernatural. (Endish of 8th season)


So yeah, anyways...


Keep AHHHHH HOLY SHIT SORRY GUYS IM OFF!


Anni out!


*hugs you and apologises for my weirdness but COME ON THIS IS SCARY AND IMPORTANT*