These Dreams

Icy Certainty

Killian lay face down in the snow for a very, very long time, to the point where his fingers and nose were going numb with the cold. He welcomed the feeling, the numbness, wishing he could lose himself in it in the aftermath of what he'd just been through. The ache in his chest wasn't going away, and he wondered if this was what death was like, cold, unrelenting, emptiness and pain and hollowness inside. He balled his hand into a fist, digging into the snow when the realization struck him.

He only had one hand.

He raised his head slowly, as if in a stupor, pushing his chest up off the snow. He looked down at his hook, and his thoughts came together slowly, as if moving through thick syrup, struggling to find their way through everything that filled his head.

This was his life. A hook for a hand. A pirate, a ship...and...Storybrooke. It all seemed so very long ago. A lifetime ago. And then he'd lost Emma and...

Emma!

He could find her again.

He reached in his vest pocket, happy to feel the compass there, waiting for him. He pulled it out, staring curiously at his reflection in the gold of the back side. He was young again and it took some getting used to, seeing himself that way. He turned his face from one side to the other, studying it, running his hook lightly across the beard on his chin, which showed no signs of even a single stray gray hair.

"Damn," he remarked to himself. "I nearly forgot what a handsome devil I was...am," he hastily corrected himself. He flipped the compass over, getting a bearing, and began to make his way through the thigh-deep snowdrifts, his greatcoat tangled around him, pulling him down as he walked. It was slow going and more than a little exhausting.

He finally broke through the trees, and stood shaking in the middle of the road, his face a mask of incredulity when he saw the twin peaks ahead, and the castle between them. He knew it all to well.

He slowly turned around as he heard the sleigh pull up behind him, pasting a smile on his face and forcing his voice to remain steady.

"Jadis," he said, with a deferential nod. "How lovely to see you again."

She pulled her white fur cloak about her shoulders, studying him with a tight, supercilious smile playing about her lips.

"My dear captain," she said. "Welcome back to Narnia."

###

He looked around the icy throne room, stalling for time.

"Love what you've done with the place," he said. "It's quite...homey."

"It's been a long time," Jadis said, inclining her head. "You left rather abruptly, as I recall."

Killian rubbed his ear, trying to mask his discomfort. "Yes, well...I was quite busy. Had a bit of a full schedule. You know how it is."

"Indeed." She looked down her nose at him. "And as much as I'm enjoying our chat, I have things to see to. Perhaps a taste of my hospitality will...warm you up."

"Jadis - "

She waved him off. "Ginarrbrik!"

A dwarf shuffled forward, and when he raised his head, Killian gave a visible start at the sight of Morpheus.

"You!"

Morpheus gave a whistle, and a pack of wolves appeared, pushing and snapping at him as they maneuvered him down a long, icy staircase.

"Wait!" Killian called out, "Jadis, wait!"

She kept on walking, not even bothering to acknowledge him. He swung his head back around, waving his hook threateningly at the wolves to keep them at bay.