Headlights - Joshler

keep it here

there's lip ring tyler for those that wanted it (mostly me).

______

tyler had hoped that the "girl" incident would be a one time thing, but it wasn't.

he called them dreams, but josh would always disagree. he would always tell him "tyler, they aren't dreams. you can't dream while you're awake. you're hallucinating."

hallucinating? no. he refused to believe he was hallucinating. that's what psychos do.

"tyler?" josh called as he walked into his room. tyler had been staying at josh's house for the last few days because josh said he should.

"what is it?" tyler said, not bothering to look up from his book.

"i'm quitting work for a while."

now tyler looked up. "why?"

"because," josh started. "i don't feel comfortable leaving you home by yourself anymore."

tyler furrowed his brow, feeling his face sort of squish together. "if you haven't realized it yet, i'm an adult man, josh."

"yeah, an adult man who talks to imaginary people and tries to touch things that aren't real."

tyler rolled his eyes. "it's called dreaming."

josh dropped his fist onto the dresser with a loud bang. tyler jolted backwards. once the drawers stopped shaking, josh spoke.

"for the last time, tyler. it's not dreaming," he said with a surprisingly calm voice.

tyler stayed silent. all he could think about was josh hitting the dresser.

run.

"i'm sorry, tyler. i didn't mean to get violent, i just think you should get some help."

help? you don't like help.

"i'm okay."

"stop it."

tyler wondered what was getting into josh lately. it wasn't like him to be all demanding like this.

"stop what?"

"saying you're okay when obviously you aren't. you think i'm stupid?"

"no."

josh gave tyler an agreeing look. tyler looked away.

"one last thing, what's the deal with your work? i've never seen you go."

tyler felt his heart begin to quicken. he knew this moment was going to come, but he never prepared himself.

"i- i got a month off."

"i don't think they do that at grocery stores."

josh squinted his eyes at him, like tyler's dad used to do. he didn't like the feeling it gave him. that look suffocated him, filtering out the lies, constructing the truth with his twisted tongue.

"i don't have a job," tyler said quickly.

no!

"what? you don't have a job?!"

"no," tyler said, rotating the rubber band around his wrist. he closed his eyes.

"why don't you have a job?"

snap.

"tyler, why don't you have a job?" josh repeated.

tyler shut his eyes tighter.

snap.

josh sat next to him and wrapped his hands around both of tyler's.

"hey, it's alright. just please answer me."

keep it here.

"keep it here," tyler said.

"what?"

tyler tucked his lips between his teeth, eyes still shut. josh felt tyler moving his hands inside of his.

"just keep it here."