Drunk - rydon/ryden fic

~~13~~

it's been mf years since I finished this fic, this was the first Ryden fic I ever wrote actually?? but imma continue it bc a few rlly nice people have told me to

// the following morning, after telling each other they love each other //

--

Brendon woke up with a smile on his face, and that has never happened before. he knew why though. he's never woken up in Ryan's arms before.
well, perhaps that may not be true. there may have been nights when the band got too drunk and crashed at someone's place, and Ryan and Brendon just happen to pass out next to each other and just happen to wake up oddly close to each other the next morning. they wouldn't say anything of it, though.
but now, it's different. a lot different. but certainly a good different.
this time, Brendon and Ryan finally told each other they love each other.

but then a question popped into Brendon's head, that he couldn't quite give an answer to;

"does this mean we are dating?"

Brendon thought that it would be implied, with their admitting they love each other and all, but neither of them had actually said anything along the lines of "can we be boyfriends?" so Brendon wasn't sure. he then began to overthink and overanalyse it more and more. what if Ryan loves him, but he just doesn't want to be his boyfriend? what if Ryan is repulsed by the idea, completely baffled, what if he laughs? what if Ryan thinks that Brendon just isn't boyfriend material?

Brendon started to freak out a little bit then. he was dumb enough to think that Ryan was all his now, but no, Ryan doesn't want Brendon as a boyfriend, who would? Brendon is so ugly and annoying and stup-

"bren? baby you okay?"

Ryan asked worriedly, his voice still a little raspy from sleep. he was looking at Brendon with concern in his eyes, and he had brought his hand up to Brendon's cheek. Brendon froze, he didn't realise he had woken Ryan. brendon was at this point almost hyperventilating, and tears were threatening to fall. Ryan immediately sat up, bringing Brendon with him, and hugged him tightly. Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan, tears streaming down his face. Brendon was trying so hard to level out his breathing, but it wasn't working. Ryan didn't know what to do, he didn't even know what he had done to upset Brendon. so quietly, to try and help steady out Brendon's breathing, he started singing quietly. Ryan leant his head on Brendon's, and began their favourite song.

"if all our life is but a dream,
fantastic posing greed,
then we should feed our jewellery to the sea.
for diamonds do appear to be,
just like broken glass to me.

and then she said she cant believe,
genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues
tripping eyes and flooded lungs
northern downpour sends it love"

Brendon's breathing was finally steady, and he had managed to wipe away his tears.

"hey bren?" Ryan whispered.
"yeah ry?" Brendon replied, voice still shaky.
Ryan paused, unsure of whether this was the right question to ask seeing as Brendon had only just stopped crying. but he really needed to know.
"why were you crying?"
Brendon didn't reply for a second, and went a bit tense.
"I-I was scared you don't want me as a boyfriend because we've not talked about it yet and it's because you think im not boyfriend material and im ugly and annoyi-"

Ryan quickly pulled away from the hug to look Brendon in the eyes. Brendon saw that Ryan looked almost hurt.
"Brendon, how could you possibly think that"
Brendon didn't answer, he just looked down.
"Bren I love you more than anything in the world. I love everything about you. there is not one thing I don't like about you, there is not one thing I want to change." Ryan finished, one hand on Brendon's cheek, the other on his neck. Brendon looked back up at Ryan with the biggest smile on his face, accompanied with the cutest blush. Ryan smiled back, and leant in to kiss him. Brendon kissed back, but Brendon accidentally broke the kiss because he could not stop smiling. Ryan didn't mind though. he loved it when Brendon smiled.
they leant their foreheads against each other, just looking at each other and smiling.
"actually," Ryan whispered, continuing his last speech,
"I've just remembered two things I'd like to change about you." Brendon's smile faltered, and his eyes widened.
"w-what?" Brendon said, confusion and hurt in his voice.
"Firstly, I'd like to change the way you see yourself. I want you to be able to look at yourself through my eyes and see how beautiful you are." Ryan smiled, and Brendon's smile came back, relief flooding his face.
"oh" Brendon blushed.
"but, what's the second thing?" Brendon asked curiously.

"your last name"