two moons ❦ calum

❦ chapter sixteen ❦

it was then that she really started to see just how slightly more at ease her ex boyfriend looked. he didn't look at all back to himself and he might never be after this. she recalled the day after she and Calum "broke up" that Diff told her that his father, who was never quite nice to him anyway, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. she didn't know much about the disease except for that anyone who had it could not expect a recovery like that of a woman with breast cancer.

"I mean I did tell him that I would help out but I wouldn't be their sole caretaker. from there he told me a few stories about my mom that I never knew and eventually he apologized for all the shot he's done, and stuff like how he knew it wouldn't be okay but he couldn't deal with the next few months of hatred from me."

Flossy honestly didn't mean to but she tuned him out from that point on. she just kept on nodding and murmuring so he would think that she was focused on their conversation but honestly there was nothing she could say when he finished and looked at her for a response except, "that's great. I'm really happy for you." she wished she could take back those two sentences and filter them through whatever part of the larynx that made her sound slightly more enthusiastic. he inquired if she was alright with his his oceanic eyes alarming against the chocolates of hers.

she hoisted her bag over her shoulders and quickly replied, "I'm fine," before she turned and walked down the hallway. the two of them knew she was lying and neither of them knew exactly why. she had this overwhelming feeling of keeping everything bottled up because maybe then it would go away. she wasn't even sure what it was that she was feeling, she just knew that it was silly in comparison to what Diff was going through and there was nothing he, or anyone else for that matter, could do.

it seemed that with every step she took down that wretched hallway towards first period, an increasing amount of pressure was applied to her shoulders and she felt that she couldn't breathe. it was a language she didn't speak and she knew that she couldn't try to convey it to anyone because of the fact that they couldn't help her understand it any more or less. she kept her eyes on her feet working with minds of their own and turned into a color that could blend in with everyone else around her. maybe then her thoughts would fade away into the color everyone wanted to see.

❦

every morning, Flossy became more and more premature in her thoughts. she'd wake up and tell herself that whatever was going on would get better once she sat down and focused on something else. every single time that the bell to first period rang and she actually did start her day, Calum would walk in and that thought would go out the window.

there was one diamond of positivity in the rough, though. because of everything going through her head with every passing second, she needed something else to focus on. so instead of sitting in the back of her classes and barely paying attention, she actually participated in class, took notes, and kept her head up to consume every inch of the information left on all of those century old chalkboards.

during fourth period she caught Cricket tapping her shoulder while she was trying to take notes. she quickly turned around and inquired what his problem was. taken aback from her attitude, he abashedly told her that he, Diff, Lesla, and Belle were planning on sneaking out during sixth period to get a smoke and "refuel".

he was even more shocked when she angrily asked in a whisper, "you guys are still doing that? did you ever stop and think how stupid that is? anyone could easily catch you in action and you're going to have to pay for the consequences."