Light of my Life

Runaway

LAUREN

I sat down on my bed in a frustrated manner, and held my phone up in front of my, squinting at the screen. I scrolled through my previous conversations with Jordan, thinking about how I could have handled the situation better when he asked me out for the second time. I mean, when you get rejected once, and then you go back and ask again. That takes a certain perseverance and courage that someone wouldn't have if they were indifferent. He must adore me.

I adored him too, but not in that way. He was smooth, funny. He was the kind of guy that would make my legs turn to jelly and my mouth swell if he had asked me out in high school, but college was different. I had hoped that here I would learn from my mistakes. We were adults now, there was no time for your legs to turn to jelly in New York.

I stared at the empty message box for a bit more, and then sighed and hurled my phone onto the mattress next to me. Alyssa waltzed out of the bathroom, unaware that I had entered the dorm.

"Oh, hey," she grinned and pranced over to me. A pair of crystal earrings dangled from her ears and caught my eye.

"Who are you trying to impress," I teased. Her parents had gotten those earrings for her, and they weren't diamonds, but they sure were expensive. She rarely wore them out in fear of breaking them, or loosing one.

"Miles asked me if both of us could go see a show tonight. I said yes on your behalf. We leave in half an hour," she giggled. I groaned.

"Why can't you leave me out of your Miles antics."

"I try, but he invited you specifically. I'm pretty sure the only reason I am allowed to come is because he invited you through me and felt bad about leaving me out," she played with a piece of her curled bob hairdo and pouted.

"That sounds like Miles. He's quite the pushover."

"Well, great minds think alike I suppose," she glance at me awkwardly. I furrowed my brow, trying to understand what she meant.

"Did you just call me a pushover?"

"Please come!" She pouted again, her lower lip sticking out drastically. She grabbed my hands and tugged on them. "It will be so much fun! Please please please, we're going to see Wicked! Please!"

I sighed and nodded, shoving my phone into my bag along with some money, and it wasn't until we were coming home from the show that I had realized, I had just proven her point.

<====><====>

I opened the bathroom door, fresh pajamas on and sauntered over to my bed, sitting down and sprawling out with my phone in hand. Miles pulled himself up onto the foot of my bed, sitting up and looking over at me in sweatpants and an old band t-shirt.

"You're really pretty."

I let out a groan of frustration and slammed my phone down onto my bed. "Miles, I know that we dated for a while, and we were a thing and stuff, but my gosh man can't you lay off of it? I'm not going to date you again!"

"Well that's a little conceited don't you think? Maybe I was just giving you a compliment for the sake of giving a compliment," He crossed his arms in defense. I raised my eyebrows.

"I know you pal, and you don't give people compliments unless you want something in return. I'm dating Alex, I really like Alex. That's it, you left the picture a long time ago when you broke my heart."

"And you broke mine. So I guess we're even," he sighed and looked away, letting his arms hang loosely by his sides. I stared at him intently with empathy, and when I spoke again it was softer, my voice holding a shadow of curiosity.

"If we're even, then why are you here? We parted ways. I never expected to see you again."

"My parents have found me another fiancee." My eyes lowered in understanding. Ever since Miles and I had broken up, his parents had been trying to fix him up with rich girls in arranged marriages to help their company. It was politics, and it sucked.

"You usually find a way to worm out of a wedding."

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "It's complicated."

"Don't you dare say those words ever to me. I know complicated. I've lived complicated." He nodded apologetically.

"She's pregnant."

I sat back, my eyes wide. "How is that even possible. I know you, how on Earth did you get a girl pregnant."

He opened his eyes again, the breath escaping his lips red. "I didn't."

"Oh, Miles."

"It happened a month before the engagement and arranged marriage, she didn't even know me. It was a one night stand. She told everyone week ago, and they all think it's mine. I didn't know she was pregnant when I proposed. And now if I don't marry her, I'm a douche. If I do, I have to raise another man's kid as my own." His eyes suddenly grew tired, and I saw in them a maturity I had never seen before. "I'm not ready to be a Dad, and it's just all so confusing and messed up. So I'm running away." He took a breath after his long rambling.

"You realize that makes you a douche," I responded. In classic Miles fashion, he gave me a grin. One that might fool the unsuspecting eye, but not me. Suddenly ridden with guilt because of how I treated him, I pulled him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around me as well, and we held each other for a long time, silent. Words passing between one other without a sound uttered from our lips. When we pulled away, a more genuine smile was splayed covered his face. I titled my head. "What?"

"When we broke up you told me that you better never see my face again."

"Well, maybe we should forget about that tiny detail," I blushed. "Miles, you can't run away from your issues."

"And why not, it's worked out so far. I haven't died yet."

"But you aren't really living either. That girl might not be carrying your child, but she's carrying a baby nonetheless. And you and I both know whoever got her pregnant won't be taking care of it. She's scared-"

"But I'm just not ready."

"What did the kid do to deserve growing up without a father?"

"Nothing."

"And I'm sure the girl you are engaged to isn't a bad person. Like you said, she had no idea you two were getting hitched. It was a last minute arranged marriage."

"Her name is Kate."

"That's a beautiful name," I smiled. He nodded. I grabbed his hands, squeezing them gently. "You need to stop running."

"But there's so much of the world that's left to explore, Lolly," he whispered. As cheerfully as he delivered his words, I still saw the fear in his eyes.

"Maybe God's telling you to stop exploring, and to start settling."

He thought for a minute, and then slid off of my bed, pulling the comforter over his boxers and white shirt. "Night, Beautiful."

"Goodnight, Miles."