Nothing, But A Number

Chapter thirty

As we lay here in each other's arms my mind doesn't travel anywhere, for once it's just blank. All I do know is that she isn't going anywhere. As toxic and as fucked up as it may seem I'm not letting her or Story go.

Shannon's POV

It's been a couple days now after our argument over him and Daisy. Since then I've been planning and making arrangements for Story's birthday. Lucas has been helping me with it as well. I haven't heard much of Daisy or anything associated with her for the past couple of days now. And to be honest I don't know how to feel.

I'm not dumb, I see the signs. Despite what Lucas says. I know I need to get out of whatever we have now before I end up hurt again, but I just can't. He made me develop feelings for him, the love I have for him is too strong that I just can't walk away willingly. Even if it was to save my own heartbreak, and he knows that. He knows that I just can't walk away at any moment. I can't threaten him and say that I'm leaving , and for him to believe it. Because he knows I love him, he knows it.

Ever since I came back he makes sure I tell him it every chance he gets. He makes sure I scream it every time I reach a mind boggling climax. See this is what I feared for when I finally admitted my feelings to him and myself. I knew I would end up regretting this eventually, nothing good comes out of telling a man you love him. All it does is backfire on you and let him know he holds a power over you.

I hate it.

Lately I've been drinking a little more than usual. Usually I only drink when I'm on business trips or dealing with my companies because they bring stress. Now with all this hope and doubt mixed with reality, I've been turning into a female version of my father.

I hate it.

Since me and Lucas's argument I've say I've went through about four bottles of my favorite whiskey. I make sure I always do it at night when Lucas and Story is sleep or in the morning once Story and Lucas leave. The one thing I make sure to do is to cover my tracks better than my father did. Because I refuse for Story to see me like this. Damn I guess my father was right love does turn you into a hopeless alcoholic.

I will say that I at least have accomplished hiding it. Lucas is oblivious to it and so is Story, but Tyler... I think he suspects it, but isn't ready to speak on it yet.

Right now I'm working on a new potential script for a movie. I decided not to drink today because for once I actually need to get some work done and also because I have to go Story's parent recap day at her gymnastics thing. Surprisingly my mind didn't wonder to Lucas and Daisy, I think it's because I've been drowning myself in work.

"Mommy, are you ready?" Story asks, running into my office.

"Yeah, lets go." I say, putting my pen down and grabbing my purse.

Walking out I make sure to lock the doors and such.

"So mommy, I was thinking that me, you, uncle Luca, and auntie Lexie can go to uncle Luca's beach house in Greece for my birthday." she says, holding my hand on the way to the car.

"Of course baby. Anything you want." I say, opening the backseat door for her.

"Oh and also Lulu, uncle Danny, and uncle Joshy can come too!" she adds, as I strap her in.

"I'll see, they may not be able to make it."

Closing the door I go to get in the drivers seat so we can go. Once arriving I make sure I sit in the front row so I can be able to see my baby without a problem. I didn't notice I was zoned out until someone accidentally bumped me and my nose was immediately filled with a strong scent of cologne.